Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt


AP Bio on NBC Thursdays at 8:30pm/7:30c ANNIHILATION streaming now on Netflix. IG: pattonoswalt

4531236 followers  •  3490 follow  •    •   https://t.co/P3o059JEer

Just staggered out of @RobZombie’s 3 FROM HELL premiere. Mind-crack amazing. A fever-dream of the most fucked-up drive-in snuff film never made. @SMZofficial  & @choptopmoseley  are pure demonic charisma. GO. SEE. IT.

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In LESS THAN A MONTH I'm at the California Center for the Arts in Escondido! I can't wait! Get tickets here:

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When @SeanAstin  and I see each other in the waiting room of an audition.

I saw @hbrikin ’s WHAT THE CONSTITUTION MEANS TO ME at the last @kencennight . Funny & sweet, then the next moment I’m blinking back tears of rage. I can’t recommend it highly enough, and featured actress Rosdely Ciprian is a REVELATION.

2) I don’t know the legal/constitutional process on this one, but, again, this is an advisor to the president admitting to a crime in a live interview. Does he get arrested? Does Congress or the Senate start an investigation?

3) Or do we quote tweet our jokes and post the “shaking head guy” GIFs and make memes and move on? What happens now? Rudy admitted to a crime last night, and this morning he woke up in his nice house and had a nice brekky and started his day. That’s the world now, so guess?

If the Ukraine government is following this account, could you please look into my DIRECTV bill?

Thank you for this @kencen ! Man did we cover a lot of stuff! Amazing interview, @reesewaters ! Thank you!!!!!!

This is beautiful and I hope it helps everyone have a great weekend!

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These are just...shots of you. No first responders, no memorial. Just...you. Holy shit this is offensive.

Congrats to @SpeakerPelosi  for inventing the “fuck you” clap. #sotu 

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Liberal arts college professor brutalizes Nazi, who has a permit. More alt-left indoctrination.

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Dear people citing The Bible: It’s a cool book with some wonderful passages but it also has ghost sex & giants & super babies & demons. It’s why we don’t make laws based on Game of Thrones, My Little Pony or Legend of Zelda.

What I've learned so far tonight: America is WAAAAAAAAY more sexist than it is racist. And it's pretty fucking racist. #ElectionNight 

I want #NathanPhillips  to be the only name that's remembered from today's ugliness. Nathan Phillips. Not the horde of bland, frightened, forgettable kids who'll grow up to be bland, frightened, forgotten adult wastes. Nathan. Phillips.

National Suicide Hotline 1 800 273 8255 I’ve brushed up against this darkness and I know it’s a tempting exit but REACH OUT to ANYONE. Stay on this side of it — in the light and warmth. Where you get to try again, every day.

Jeffrey Dahmer: I made an altar from the bones and genitalia that I didn't eat from my victims. NY Times reporter: Meet the Midwestern sex-postive locavore who adds a Goth twist to his arts and crafts!

Amen, Bob. She should be a real American like you, growing up on a six acre estate complete with tennis court and horse paddock, and then bravely adopting a faux “redneck shitkicker” cosplay persona. God bless you, buddy ruff.

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