Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt


AP Bio on NBC Thursdays at 8:30pm/7:30c ANNIHILATION streaming now on Netflix. IG: pattonoswalt

4769156 followers  •  4372 follow  •    •   https://t.co/P3o059JEer

I don’t know who made this but it’s perfect.

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#RIPMikeNesmith. Thank you for The Monkees, Elephant Parts, MTV & REPO MAN

It’s the 50th anniversary of George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass” so I & a bunch of friends all got together for a new video for “My Sweet Lord.” Watch the whole beautiful thing at !

Bob was at my house in October interviewing me for a documentary. He was sharp and dark and funny as always and we were gonna catch up over coffee when he was done editing and now I’m crying FUCK #RIPBobSaget 

“Patton Oswalt’s Penis,” 6 episodes currently streaming on @hbomax 

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Anne Frank spent 2 years hiding in an attic and we’ve been home for just over a month with Netflix, food delivery & video games and there are people risking viral death by storming state capital buildings & screaming, “Open Fuddruckers!”

When seat belts were first introduced in 1968, there were idiots who insisted they “infringed on their freedoms” and would physically cut them out of their cars. We make fun of those people now. Can you guess who we’ll be making fun of in 2072?

This is not over. For we shall mount our righteous stand at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Next to Fantasy Island Adult Books. Across the street from the Delaware Valley Cremation Center. Between the fire extinguisher and yellow hose. #MAGA 

When the polio vaccine dropped in 1955 people lined up to get it, & we were 2 years away from artificial satellites. Now in 2021 we carry external world-brains in our pockets & there’s robots on Mars and idiots think the COVID vaccine is full of wizard poison.

How...does ANYONE watch this and think this is a good leader? How many gears do you need to strip in your brain to reach that conclusion? Seriously.

Shut down his goddamn Twitter feed and throw him in motherfucking jail. NOW.

I know I RT’d this earlier, but READ that second paragraph. Donald slowed testing of COVID-19 to keep the numbers low and help his re-election chances. That directly led to this chaos. HOW DOES THIS NOT IMMEDIATELY END HIS PRESIDENCY?

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