Anne Frank spent 2 years hiding in an attic and we’ve been home for just over a month with Netflix, food delivery & video games and there are people risking viral death by storming state capital buildings & screaming, “Open Fuddruckers!”

When seat belts were first introduced in 1968, there were idiots who insisted they “infringed on their freedoms” and would physically cut them out of their cars. We make fun of those people now. Can you guess who we’ll be making fun of in 2072?

These are just...shots of you. No first responders, no memorial. Just...you. Holy shit this is offensive.

Liberal arts college professor brutalizes Nazi, who has a permit. More alt-left indoctrination.

What I've learned so far tonight: America is WAAAAAAAAY more sexist than it is racist. And it's pretty fucking racist. #ElectionNight 

Dear people citing The Bible: It’s a cool book with some wonderful passages but it also has ghost sex & giants & super babies & demons. It’s why we don’t make laws based on Game of Thrones, My Little Pony or Legend of Zelda.

Congrats to @SpeakerPelosi  for inventing the “fuck you” clap. #sotu 

THEN HOW THE FUCK IS HE STILL PRESIDENT

The President is a stupid asshole and if you voted for him you’re a stupid asshole and if you still support him you’re a stupid asshole. Oh no this Tweet is going to make all the stupid assholes not like me waaaaah