‘Brexit deal never made sense’ says man who negotiated it, signed it, prevented MPs from scrutinising it, campaigned for it and won a general election on the back of it:

‘It’s time to move on’ says government that’s worked harder to safeguard one man’s job in three days than it has to protect frontline workers and care home residents in three months.

Vatican investigates possible miracle as UK government inexplicably finds £10bn for energy bills just 24 hours after the Sue Gray report.

BREAKING: British media reacts as death toll passes 30,000.

MPs offered an extra £10,000 each to work from home, coming as a great comfort to nurses wearing bin bags to protect themselves from coronavirus.

Kwasi Kwarteng receives shortest email in recorded history:

Sadly, #HIGNFY  isn’t on the air during the selection of a new Prime Minister. Fortunately, the dropping of court proceedings against Boris Johnson for misuse of public office means we can now show the uncensored footage from the show in which the case was discussed.

BREAKING: Dominic Cummings press conference went ‘really well’ says Prince Andrew.

After a vegan sausage roll sends Piers Morgan into a meltdown, experts say it’s a good job he isn’t one of those easily-offended snowflakes he's always talking about.