HaveIGotNewsForYou

HaveIGotNewsForYou


This account is run by Hat Trick, who make HIGNFY. The BBC have asked us to point out it's nothing to do with them; the twitter feed that is, not the TV show.

831556 followers  •  122 follow  •  Casablanca  •   http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006mkw3

Time for humanity to ‘grow up’ on climate change, says Boris Johnson, moments before quoting Kermit the Frog.

Climate change protestors block the M25, because if there’s one thing that’s good for the environment it’s thousands of cars idling all day.

Michael Gove shouldn’t be judged on past comments, says newly-appointed foreign secretary, The Rt Hon. Roy Chubby Brown.

Government to announce post-Brexit return of imperial measures - to put that into perspective, shops will now have 0lbs of fresh produce instead of 0kg.

As three days of voting begins in the Russian elections, world leaders congratulate Vladimir Putin on his party's landslide win.

Amber to be removed from UK’s traffic light system, after the Foreign Office realises the current setup would require Liz Truss to remember three things.

Government considering ban on betting firms sponsoring football shirts, which should discourage gambling from fans of the Sky Bet Championship.

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‘Brexit deal never made sense’ says man who negotiated it, signed it, prevented MPs from scrutinising it, campaigned for it and won a general election on the back of it:

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‘It’s time to move on’ says government that’s worked harder to safeguard one man’s job in three days than it has to protect frontline workers and care home residents in three months.

After Matt Hancock asks Premier League footballers to donate their wages to help fight coronavirus, some wonder if he should ask the UK’s hedge fund owners, tax-dodging FTSE 100 companies and non-domiciled Russian oligarchs to do the same.

BREAKING: Hundreds of people gather on Westminster Bridge to applaud the NHS staff who will be treating them for coronavirus next week.

BREAKING: British media reacts as death toll passes 30,000.

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MPs offered an extra £10,000 each to work from home, coming as a great comfort to nurses wearing bin bags to protect themselves from coronavirus.

BREAKING: Vatican designates Barnard Castle a sacred site after thousands of blind pilgrims are miraculously cured over the past 24 hours.

BREAKING: Dominic Cummings press conference went ‘really well’ says Prince Andrew.

Jan 1st: New decade going fairly well, all things considered. Jan 2nd: Australia appears to be on fire. Jan 3rd: World War III announced.

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