‘Brexit deal never made sense’ says man who negotiated it, signed it, prevented MPs from scrutinising it, campaigned for it and won a general election on the back of it:

‘It’s time to move on’ says government that’s worked harder to safeguard one man’s job in three days than it has to protect frontline workers and care home residents in three months.

BREAKING: Hundreds of people gather on Westminster Bridge to applaud the NHS staff who will be treating them for coronavirus next week.

World begins unprecedented third attempt at 2020.

BREAKING: British media reacts as death toll passes 30,000.

Widespread chaos across UK as people arrive at work meetings armed with cheese, wine, 15 other people and a baby.

MPs offered an extra £10,000 each to work from home, coming as a great comfort to nurses wearing bin bags to protect themselves from coronavirus.

BREAKING: Boris Johnson denies hosting quiz at No 10, as it was actually an emergency Cobra meeting to determine which Irish singer-songwriter released the 1990 hit single ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’.