andy lassner

andy lassner

Executive Producer -- @theEllenShow -- Views expressed here do not reflect those of America's sweetheart Ellen DeGeneres. ALSO the @LAKings make me happy.

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And I pray daily for that motherfucker to sue me for something

Jennifer Aniston Scares Fans at Central Perk

You’re an awful human. Like really, really awful. But you know that already.

To Americans who care about the rule of law and the dignity of the office of the President, yes, it’s a huge fucking deal.

Like every single person in the Trump orbit, Mike Pompeo is exactly who we all knew Mike Pompeo was.


Why does America always seem to have trillions of dollars for wars, but basic things like raises for teachers, healthcare and social security are always in danger?

Breaking: Just got word from @EliseStefanik  that she would not like #ByeByeElise  to trend. Do not send a tweet with the hashtag #ByeByeElise  It would only boost the highly qualified and honorable @tedracobb  So please DO NOT use the hashtag #ByeByeElise 

I’m very, very serious. Very serious. Do NOT allow #PresidentPussyAssBitch  to trend. I’m begging you. Begging. #PresidentPussyAssBitch 

2 mass shootings in one day. Is America great again yet?

This is not good. @Jim_Jordan  is very, very upset about the #ByeByeElise  hashtag He asks that we NOT use #ByeByeElise 

Here’s @LindseyGrahamSC  talking about @realDonaldTrump  before he was blackmailed

Crazy how not one person implicated in this growing scandal is an immigrant.

Does anyone else feel like they may actually be going crazy watching what this man is doing to the fabric of our country? And that he is seemingly getting away with it over and over again? Like where the fuck are the checks and balances we learned about in school?

I’ve only watched this 14 times so far

Important question. When @Jim_Jordan refers to the “whistleblower”, does he mean the referee who has come forward to say that Jim stood by while wrestlers were being sexually assaulted in the locker room showers? Cc: @HouseGOP