andy lassner

andy lassner

Executive Producer -- @theEllenShow -- Views expressed here do not reflect those of America's sweetheart Ellen DeGeneres. ALSO the @LAKings make me happy.

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What beautiful animals. If one were, let’s say gay, how would Mike feel?

@mehdirhasan  The only thing almost as demented as @DineshDSouza  is the fact that @IngrahamAngle  flooded his house with a garden hose when he dumped her.

I’ve now heard from two friends who have moved their support from another candidate to Joe Biden over the weekend.

I’m a single issue voter - Trump losing.

I think this will be the week that Nancy Pelosi calls for impeachment hearings.

This is me. You’ve just described being Jewish.

I can’t remember a day I haven’t been nervous.

This is exactly what someone running the deep state who’s holding JFK Jr. hostage would tweet, Rick.

They are all rage tweeting about a 16-year-old girl to try and distract us from @realDonaldTrump ’s high crimes and misdemeanors. Don’t fall for it.


Not totally sure how rap battles work, but I believe Eminem is now the President of the United States of America.

Do NOT use this photo of Donald Trump. He does NOT like it. He told reporters he HATES it. Please RETWEET.

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I’m very, very serious. Very serious. Do NOT allow #PresidentPussyAssBitch  to trend. I’m begging you. Begging. #PresidentPussyAssBitch 

He promised them Mexico would pay for it. They cheer. Now he tells them we must pay for it. They cheer. Because that’s how cults work.

Does anyone else feel like they may actually be going crazy watching what this man is doing to the fabric of our country? And that he is seemingly getting away with it over and over again? Like where the fuck are the checks and balances we learned about in school?

"Sure I'm old enough to be your dad but I listen to 'Baby' on loop in my car and pretend we're friends" #TBT 

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Retweet only if you know someone who was sexually assaulted but didn't come forward for fear of being shamed and blamed.

Dear media, President Trump lies. He doesn’t “reverse his position”, “tell untruths”, “exaggerate”, “distort”, “speak in hyperboles” or “state inaccurately”. He fucking lies.