Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

Evie’s husband

19388194 followers  •  51 follow  •    •  

Fortune* Favours** the Brave*** *crypto currency **deeply screws ***retail investors

It's Stevie Wonder's birthday and Friday the 13th. I hope he's not very superstitious.

Right now, the Jan. 6th committee is frantically searching for the perfect Kate Bush song.

Before you decide if the former president is responsible for the Capitol riots, remember that in America you’re innocent until proven guilty, then proven guilty again, then proven guilty again and they hold a hearing in primetime to show everyone how you’re really, really guilty.

A new book from an old friend. Grief is hard to talk about, but this book does it beautifully.

I also didn't win the 2020 presidential election. $250 million, please!

Polio has been detected in London sewage samples. So remember, splashing around in London’s sewers might be unhealthy.

R.E.M. lied to me about the end of the world as we know it. I do not feel fine.

Imagine the danger that Secret Service agent could have been in if the ex-president had adult-sized hands.

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If the Supreme Court is going to allow prayer in the middle of a high school football field, they should allow high school football games in the middle of a church.


The last two weeks have been a strange ten years.

There's so much I admire about the French: their sophistication, their cinema, their willingness to prosecute former presidents.

South Korean official response: “We are attempting to make sense of what, precisely, President Trump means.” Welcome to the fucking club.

Happy birthday, @JoeBiden ! Today you may be 78, but in two months, you’ll be 46.

Elementary math under Betsy Devos Q: Ned and Sheryl each have 4 apples. Who has more apples? A: Whomever Mike Pence decides has more apples.

After these FBI arrests, just think of all the basements that moms will be able to redecorate.

Let's take a moment to appreciate that we're waiting to find out if the winner of the election is going to win the election.