Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

the guy on CBS

19399357 followers  •  41 follow  •    •  

Matt Gaetz never took COVID-19 seriously because she was a little too old for him.

I think LeVar Burton should host Jeopardy! As Geordi La Forge. And the buzzers should be phasers. And Data should be the judge. And it should be in space. And just be Star Trek.

Cornyn may be on to something. It's a little suspicious that Biden hasn’t tweeted about Kristen Stewart cheating on Robert Pattinson.

Seems unfair to the rest of us if the Supreme Court is able to make it through quarantine without packing on a few.

There are no tracking devices inside any Covid vaccine, just microscopic copies of Kamala Harris’s book.

This was fun. And with my favorite guest of all! Hope to see you there.

I wonder if the GOP is having a civil war just so they can put up statues of the losers.

Check out A Late Show tonight for my interview with former First Lady and current Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama!

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Calvin and Hobbes is getting dark.

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One thing I know for sure: no one on the right side of history has ever had to nitpick what the definition of “cage” is.

I am starting a petition for the Democrats to let @iamcardib  give the rebuttal to the SOTU. Sign it by retweeting this!

No garbage collection today—because it’s MLK Day and because, this week, America’s taking out the trash on Wednesday.

There's so much I admire about the French: their sophistication, their cinema, their willingness to prosecute former presidents.

The last two weeks have been a strange ten years.

The human body was not made to expend this much energy thinking about Pennsylvania.

Trump says he might not accept the 2020 election results. If he needs a recommendation, I have a great therapist who helped me accept the results of the 2016 election.

RIP Republican Health Care Bill. In lieu of flowers, please send new representatives to Congress in 2018.

It’ll be a shame if history allows one horrific event on this president’s watch to overshadow all the other horrific events on this president’s watch.

Welcome home, @RealDonaldTrump ! While you were gone we started actually punishing people for sexual harassment so, you know, heads up.