Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert


the guy on CBS

18707918 followers  •  38 follow  •    •  

I first saw a Gahan Wilson taped to the inside of my older brother Bill’s closet door. I think it was this one. It’s certainly the first one I remember. And the one I can’t forget. #RIPGahanWilson 

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Schiff should subpoena Conan the Dog. Something tells me he’ll roll over.

Constitutional scholars haven’t gotten TV ratings this high since that episode of FRIENDS where Phoebe dated Lawrence Lessig.

Don’t know what presents to get? This holiday season choose love and buy real gifts for refugees at the @HelpRefugeesUK  stores in NY, LA and London or online at

"Shoot, I told them not to put my fragile arguments at the bottom."

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I was a clue on @Jeopardy  tonight! “What is the greatest honor of my television career?”

It's unfair to say the President is financially beholden to Russia when he just got 100% owned by a Swedish teenager.

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One thing I know for sure: no one on the right side of history has ever had to nitpick what the definition of “cage” is.

I am starting a petition for the Democrats to let @iamcardib  give the rebuttal to the SOTU. Sign it by retweeting this!

Welcome home, @RealDonaldTrump ! While you were gone we started actually punishing people for sexual harassment so, you know, heads up.

RIP Republican Health Care Bill. In lieu of flowers, please send new representatives to Congress in 2018.

I’m surprised the NRA was affiliated with car rental companies at all, considering Hertz and Avis enforce tyrannical rules like "age restrictions" and "having a license."

Repealing DACA in order to MAGA is a load of CACA.

South Korean official response: “We are attempting to make sense of what, precisely, President Trump means.” Welcome to the fucking club.

Well then, let’s help with that marketing! Retweet this, y’all!

Let he who is without a fetish for being spanked by a porn star with a magazine featuring you on the cover & then ask a lawyer set up a shell corp in Delaware to secretly pay hush money to hide your infidelity & the news leaks as you speak at a Pro-Life march cast the first stone

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