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Caroline Moss
I write books for kids & for not kids. I need half a gallon of milk, two bottles of apple juice, a box of hamburger helper, and about two dozen cans of kerosene
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Hey LA and anyone ordering takeout. These poor Postmates delivery people are standing next to me as we all wait for our takeout food and they’re panicked to tears that they’re not gonna get tipped because takeout is so slammed. Please tip. Even if your food is late. Jesus Christ.
“LA and anyone ordering takeout” means “LA and anyone ordering takeout” so please stop saying “this isn’t just LA” because no fucking shit. Happy thanksgiving back.
the newest threat from @GavinNewsom , who has been threatening to turn this car around every week since June and has yet to turn this car around despite the rise in cases, hospitalizations, and deaths
excited for the inevitable full season arc of the RHOC women not "getting" how Braunwyn can be gay if she was married to a man and has kids!!
we worked our butts off on these gee thanks! gift guides and then I forgot to tweet them out so here they are, I hope you can find something great.
“Please don’t come see the big iconic Christmas tree in the iconic city during a pandemic. But if you must, then sure, we put up the tree as we always do and it’s open for you to come swing by. But really, please don’t. But, do. Here’s how.”
A surprising thing that made me cry tonight was watching the Disney on Broadway stars sing let it go to an empty theater??????.........I miss.... literally going anywhere and doing anything but dang I can’t wait to see a musical again!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Just realized in 25 years there’s gonna be an American Girl doll who lived through the coronavirus pandemic and her $86 accessories will be a little Nintendo Switch, a tiny thing of Clorox wipes and fake bread that she learned to bake herself from a YouTube video.
Friendly reminder that phase 3 doesn’t mean it’s safer to go to the movies or get your nails done than it was in march, it just means that both the state and federal government don’t care if you die doing it
Is anyone else’s brain so broken that you’re beating yourself up for not being productive enough about work during an unprecedented global pandemic 👋🏼 🤚🏽
Bong Joon Ho: and honestly your award show sucks. Fuck all of you. His translator: .... His translator: um...my deep love of movies stems back to the great Martin Scorsese who re
What’s the dumbest thing you thought about the pandemic back in March? For me it was being stressed that we might have to “do this” til Memorial Day Imaooooooo happy August!
If you go to therapy quote tweet this with the best thing you learned at therapy that way everyone else can get free therapy
It must suck for Rebecca Black to be 2 years early to influencer culture and watch people get rich and famous for videos 1000x dumber than signing a song about the weekend
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