Andy Richter

Andy Richter


I’m a dad. @richtercommaandy on Instagram

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I keep fainting thinking about it. My head is bleeding from seven places

Super rich people get really used to never being around people who tell them they’re wrong, so seeing Bloomberg on that debate stage tonight was like seeing a vampire at a garlic festival that he’d paid hundreds of millions of dollars to attend. In other words, a true delight.

Me: *posts political tweet criticizing rich people* Random dude: You’re rich. Me: Whoa.

As a side note: You will have to take this from me, because how could most people know the truth of this - if you are in the public eye there are sites that will tell how much money you have. They are grossly, hilariously, gigantically wrong.

@ChuckWendig  “I am a razor sharp social critic, and my populist take downs burn their intended victims like a red hot laser, but I also 100% believe numbers I see on the Internet.”

Future generations of American kids will learn in history class about the time the US had a president who was a Russian asset.

And the dumbest, most predictable plots

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On the same night that racists are carrying torches in Charlottesville I see this tweet. Choose well what kind of human you're going to be.

Oh really? Well “go fuck yourself” is a directive.

Imagine getting on Twitter today to argue with people that nothing needs to change. Imagine using your time today to argue that your hobby is more important than 17 people who were murdered in a high school.

Wow. Look at all these countries that don't have any mentally ill people

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You know what’s the worst, most boring kind of comedy? The kind where older white men are angry that older white men can’t do or say whatever the fuck they want anymore.

It's a great time to be alive if you're dumb and mean

When they say "nothing could have prevented this," remember they mean nothing but laws that have lowered gun deaths in other countries.

Roy Moore not conceding reminds me of something I’ve noticed: a certain kind of white man, having grown used to creating realities to his liking, when confronted with a reality not to his liking tantrums like a goddamned baby

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