John Cleese

John Cleese

Yes, I am still indeed alive, contrary to rumour, and am performing the silly walk in my new app

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Just real Scott Perry's statement that he still considers Ukraine interfered with the 2016 election A perfect example of the fact that you have to be slightly intelligent to realise that you're not very intelligent

Has anyone seen anything in the British Press about the story below ?

With the appallingly low level of honesty in the UK election campaign, I think the only choice for me is to vote for the Greens Unless David Attenborough decides to stand

In New York for Thanksgiving, and reading a lot of pieces about it It appears that what the Puritans were giving thanks for was the fact that they had guns, and the indigenous peoples didn't This is symbolised by turkeys having no right to bear arms

Daughter Camilla's guard dog Hercules, impersonating a turkey 'Turcules'

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This jibe, from a man whose only talent is self-promotion, remind me of an exchange some years ago... PM: When are you going to be funny again, Cleese ? It's been a long time JC: When are you going to be talented ? It's been a lifetime

President Trump needs to be told that ALL the world leaders are two-faced in dealing with him The first face is for pretending that they think he's a stable genius The second is for dealing with reality, the moment he's gone


Piers Morgan writes that I didn't recognise him in a restaurant in New York.I did.I just didn't want to speak to someone I truly detest

Boris Johnson's refusal to publish the report on Russian infiltration is beyond disgraceful If he suppresses it, it is clearly because it reflects badly on his party, and will affect the way people vote If he doesn't publish soon, please don't vote for him

So, here is the News this morning. The Leader of the Free World is now completely unhinged, but we can't do anything at all about it because he has rock solid support from racists, and all the very rich Republicans who badly need another tax cut And now, the weather...

One should never forget the first principle of the old KGB " Always accuse your enemy of exactly what you are doing "

Nice moment at the theatre in Innsbruck last night... Just before I went on, I asked a stage manager " Will this audience know me better from Monty Python or Fawlty Towers ? " He replied "I don't know. I've never heard of you "

Yes I've heard this word. I think sociopaths use it in an attempt to discredit the notion of empathy

I would like 2016 to be the year when people remembered that science is a method of investigation,and NOT a belief system

Dear Twits I wish you all a Happy Christ's Birthday Anniversary, regardless of your culture, class, religious orientation, sexual preference, or race, provided only that you don't vote next year for the delusional five-year-old currently destroying everything I love about the USA

I try not to brag too much, but I have just heard wonderful news ! I made a speech recently at the Banqueting House in Westminster Since then, the organisers have received a number of complaints from people who attended it And...........they were ALL from Trump supporters !!