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134,937 followers   •   4,573 following   •   NYC in Body/ Alabama in Spirit   •   http://www.roywoodjr.com
I do comedy on a stage, sometimes on @TheDailyShow. Proud FAMU grad reppin the 205. I might not be shit to you but my mama thinks I made it. #Cubs #Dolphins

Latest Scoops

"Please sir, don't dunk on me. I been really good. I done my chores and everything"
One of comedy's darkest secrets is the number of comedians who are nice to everyone except for other comedians. It's so baffling. But that's another thread for another day.

Cleveland! See you this weeken @Hilaritiesd May 25-27
The pettiest comedian revenge story I've ever heard. Also side bar, if ya'll aren't on Ense, ya'll need to follow me over there as well. https://t.co/DkjcLj8XqZ

arena acts only fam. I might let Tiffany Haddish or Lil Rel come through and do a hot y. I'll pay 'em $150K
Another way to destroy this comedy club would be to buy up all the tickets online every week. Clubs make all their money off Food & Beverage. an empty house still hurts the room. even if you sold all the seats.

I should probably start back going to church.
It will be my life's work. And will overshadow anything else I ever do. I will die broke and alone. Booking Chris Rock ,Kevin Hart, Chappelle, & Katt Williams for one night will bankrupt me.
I've never really had any clear cut comedy goals, beyond "get funny do more shows" until the last 3-4 yrs. If I ever get a studio deal and can produce content, I promise you the same day I'm announcing the opening of 'Fuck That Other Comedy Club-Comedy Club' in North Carolina
the first week line up for my North Carolina 'Fck That Other Comedy Club-Comedy Club' will be Chris Rock, Kevin Hart, Chappelle, Katt Williams. All on the same show. Tickets will be $9. I WILL NOT LOSE!
My club is going to seat 140 ppl. and Im gonna book arena acts.This club will be a total money pit. It will do nothing but lose money. And then while my club is packed, I'm going to go across the street to the other comedy club and buy a ticket and watch that empty show
There's a comedy Club in North Carolina, that if ever I'm rich enough. I'm going to open a comedy club across the street from it. and call my club, the "Fck That Other Comedy Club-Comedy Club'. and I'm going to operate in the red the entire time until the other club dies.
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