Richard Osman

Richard Osman


You know, that guy from that thing. All enquiries to lucyp@zeppotron.com

893619 followers  •  1367 follow  •    •  

The Queen is a class act. I’m going to pitch ‘Richard Osman’s Palace Of Games’.

Epidemiologist must be the most commonly used 7-syllable word of all time now.

Also, ‘epidemiology’ has 7 syllables in 12 letters. That is really packing the syllables in. 1.714 letters per syllable.

No, I’m not bored, why do you ask?

Over 14m people watching The Queen last night.

And that’s just BBC1. Another 8m across ITV, 4 and Five.

You may be mistaking ‘from the South’ for ‘posh’.

Just remembering a TV show we made where people ran a beach bar. When they were naming their bar one of the contestants said ‘I’ve got it! We’ll call it Sugar, but we’ll spell it S U G A R’.

@MarianKeyes  @GnomosapienA  @PenguinUKBooksn  @MelissaHemsleyd  @CCriadoPerez  I was writing for magazines from the age of 16, while still at state school. Do you need another thousand examples?

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I try not to tweet political opinions, but as it’s my birthday allow me just one. The Tories do want to sell off the NHS. Not in one go, just bit by bit until it’s unrecognisable. You’ll turn up one day and there will be a priority waiting room. They’ve always been open about it.

People still congregating in busy spaces saying ‘it’s the Dunkirk sprit’, need to understand that in this scenario they’re actually being the Luftwaffe.

A woman on 'Deal Or No Deal' told us she needed £15k for IVF treatment. George Michael secretly phoned the next day and gave her the £15k.

I don’t think we can ever really say this enough, but if you’re an NHS worker just coming off shift, or about to go on shift, you have the gratitude of an entire nation. Sending you love and strength and thanks beyond words. None of this will be forgotten.

I see Amazon boss Jeff Bezos’ wife is leaving him. With a neighbour, presumably.

The 6 year-old son of a colleague has just drawn this. He has offered no explanation for it.

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Regarding LGBT issues being discussed in schools. When I was at school it seemed there were no gay pupils at all. Now I look back, of course there were, they just didn’t feel able to be themselves. I feel sad that they had to hide, and stupid that I didn’t know. So teach away pls

There would be huge ratings in a half-hour show where Andrew Neil goes through the questions he WOULD have asked Boris, and puts them to some interesting fact checkers instead. Let’s just do that.

Just explained to a delighted American that we call ‘crosswalks’ ‘zebra crossings’. Then she asked what we call ‘crossing guards’, and I said ‘lollipop ladies’ and now she thinks I’ve just made the whole thing up.

It’s so hot outside, it’s almost as if the yawning gates of Hell have chosen to open up on this particular day from some reason.

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