Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black

9 years in the NFL. 2 rings. #9years2rings

1943650 followers  •  658 follow  •    •   https://t.co/cPYvs6PDFB

I have always said - and will always say - that the richest candidate gets my vote.

There’s just no better indicator of wisdom and character than ungodly amounts of money.

Wait, Stephen Miller is a white nationalist? The same Stephen Miller we've been saying is a white nationalist for the last three years? How could this be?

He was just adjusting buttons on his suit.

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Hold up - we're only impeaching him NOW?

Also, he has taken more than most of us can even imagine.

Thank you, Mrs. Pike! I’m sure Mo will understand.

Nobody in my circle of friends and advisors has gone to jail. What’s wrong with me?

@mjdesarno  @JimGaffiganStop ratting me out to Jim. And the joke is ultimately about him being much more successful than me. But he is a pot of macaroni and cheese.


Does it trouble anybody else that the biggest story right now is whether or not the President of the United States is sane?

As a massive hurricane bears down on us, please remember that one American political party literally does not believe in science.

In lieu of flowers, the family of David Koch requests that mourners simply purchase a Republican politician.

I’ll just keep saying it: The NRA is a terrorist organization.

Deeper even than the gun problem is this: boys are broken.

No mass shootings in a couple days so it's a good, non-politicizing time to remind people that the NRA is a terrorist organization.

Today: 1. Trump lost appeal. 2. NYT broke China won't take our call. 3. Wash P broke Flynn lied about Russia. 4. Conway broke the law. TODAY