Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black

9 years in the NFL. 2 rings. #9years2rings

1905012 followers  •  710 follow  •    •   https://t.co/cPYvs6PDFB

MY OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT THREAD! As some of you know it’s been VERY difficult for me to make up my mind about whom to support this presidential election because, with Joe Biden and Donald Trump, you've got two GREAT candidates.

I can FINALLY reveal that I did a good job this morning on GOOD MORNING AMERICA. They couldn't tell that I haven't taken a shower yet.

I'm spending the morning discussing my new book A BETTER MAN A (MOSTLY SERIOUS) LETTER TO MY SON with local radio stations. The VERY least you can do is buy it. So angry at you right now.

All they have to do is wait until the weekend and then change the locks when he’s golfing.

I would be in favor of getting rid of the Electoral College except I'm worried about how it will affect Southerners in the 1700's.

Just found out on Inauguration Day they're replacing all my big windows with tiny windows and I'm furious.


If they stop tracking hurricanes there will be no hurricanes.

How do Trader Joe’s employees have more patience than cops?

In lieu of flowers, the family of David Koch requests that mourners simply purchase a Republican politician.

Fuck it, I’ll say it: I prefer Biden to Bernie.

Sure I love Elizabeth Warren, but would she make the best president? Yes.

I don't think anybody wants to erase history. I think they want to finally acknowledge it.

Why stop at worst president ever? He might be the worst American ever.

He might be gone in a few months. Crazy to think about the smoking wreck of a nation he's going to leave us with. Ruined economy, ruined global standing, bankrupt, 10,000s of dead Americans, and 35% of the country still claiming he's the second coming. The fuck we gonna do?