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419,530 followers   •   4,583 following   •   New York, New York   •   http://laurenduca.com
Award-winning & -losing freelance journalist!!! Tweets are my own and do not reflect the views of Clay Aiken. lauren.duca@gmail.com

Latest Scoops

Why am I even working this hard if Reese Witherspoon has no serious plans to adopt me
I don't want to speculate about Don Jr.'s divorce, but I can definitely say that an ancient witch has his soul trapped in a fart jar.
Pleased to announce that I'm back on my bullshit
I allot myself small breaks for pettiness as if it is a high-calorie snack
I'm trying to skip coffee today and I feel like a hologram of a zombie
Dear men writing email essays about what you really mean by your tweets,

I get that your intentions are good, but! you are projecting your mental labor on me, and, like, I'm already pretty fucking tired. Put all this anxious effort toward promoting women's work instead. xoxo, LD
Check out my girl Cavale on @Spotify: https://t.co/5ffOvJjdN4 (She's like Lana meets Neko, in the most wonderful way, and way more people should know about her. 💕)
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How is this not the movie poster for a B-list screwball comedy
ME: Can it be spring now though

MY MENTIONS: STFU DUMB SPRING LOVING BITCH you probably like sunshine too. haha jerk. idiot.
"They're trying to get young, 14, 15, 16-year-old kids to vote Democrat in the fall. " - @seanhannity- in regard to 14, 15, and 16-year-old kids WHO ARE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO VOTE YOU ROTTING OLD SPONGE
Total(1) => 0.044075965881348 f_f_QM(2) => 0.037778854370117 indS(1) => 0.031363010406494 indM(1) => 0.0042400360107422 indM_1(1) => 0.00058889389038086 indM_2(1) => 0.00043797492980957 indM_4(1) => 0.00063300132751465 indM_5(1) => 0.0005950927734375 indM_6(1) => 0.00060796737670898 indM_7(1) => 0.00064206123352051 indM_8(1) => 0.00054693222045898 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.0049240589141846 f_f_dT(20) => 0.004692554473877