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46,953 followers   •   1,238 following   •   DC   •   http://glenweldon.tumblr.

Author of THE CAPED CRUSADE from Simon & Schuster. Unauthor, SUPERMAN: THE UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY. Panelist, Pop Culture Happy Hour.

Latest Scoops

Glen Weldon
ghweldon
spring equinox when the sun takes up a position directly above the equator weho equinox also associated with t
Spring Equinox: When the sun takes up a position directly above the Equator.

WeHo Equinox: Also associated with things taking up positions directly above other things, especially in the steam room.
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
buttigieg running for president is definitely more like ulysses than it is like portrait potus bababadalgharag
BUTTIGIEG:
Running for president is definitely more like ULYSSES than it is like PORTRAIT.

POTUS: (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthunnuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later on
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
something something elizabeth holmes something something plastique tiara saying ariana grande there ive given
Something something Elizabeth Holmes

Something something Plastique Tiara saying “Ariana Grande”

There. I’ve given you the bones. Go to town. I’m too tired.
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
what was the best thing the photographer said at the npr photo shoot a those shoulders arent fitting in the fr
What was the best thing the photographer said at the NPR photo shoot?

A. “Those shoulders aren’t fitting in the frame. I have to back up.”

B. “No, hold on. Even farther.”

C. “You don’t have a good side or a bad side - your features are symmetrical.”

D. “Wow even FARTHER.”
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
probably shouldn t have stayed up all night boozin and druggin and shovin deep fried everything into my face b
probably shouldn't have stayed up all night boozin' and druggin' and shovin' deep-fried everything into my face between bouts of bare-knuckle boxing the night before my NPR photo shoot hunh

Also all those salt licks seem ill-advised I see that now
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
so far this upcoming series shares none of the brazen idiosyncratic visual style of the film it s based on but
So far this upcoming series shares none of the brazen, idiosyncratic visual style of the film it's based on, but then oh hey here's a well-lit Joel Kinnaman smearing his naked torso with goose fat, and

I'm sorry I forgot my point
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
getting my official npr headshot today
Getting my official NPR headshot today
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Glen Weldon
ghweldon
just went up to a group of cool teens and said how long until eggboy milkshake ducks am i right and they cheer
Just went up to a group of cool teens and said “How long until eggboy milkshake ducks am I right” and they cheered me and held me aloft and elected me their king I am typing this with one hand my other is still high-fiving
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
i am prepping for fosse verdon and as the jejune dewy eyed ingenue that i am i have never felt more seen
I am prepping for FOSSE/ VERDON and as the jejune dewy-eyed ingenue that I am I have never felt more seen
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
someone says something to you you cant hear you say
Someone says something to you you can’t hear.

YOU say:

The Most Relevant

Glen Weldon
ghweldon
persephone i m back mom demeter your mail s on the counter how s mopey mcgee persephone do we have to do this
PERSEPHONE: I'm back, Mom.
DEMETER: Your mail's on the counter. How's Mopey McGee?
PERSEPHONE: Do we have to do this now?
DEMETER: Finish his novel yet?
PERSEPHONE: Mom.
DEMETER: "The Sorrow & The More Sorrow" was it?
PERSEPHONE: I'm not doing this. I'll be back in a week. [SLAM]
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
mary how s the room joseph um rustic mary it s clean though joseph well it s not immaculate to self but then w
MARY: How's the room?

JOSEPH: Um ... rustic.

MARY: It's clean, though?

JOSEPH: Well, it's not immaculate. (To self) But then who is.

MARY: Hm?

JOSEPH: Nothing.
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
spring go home youre drunk its over winter spring what are you why are you get down from there winter spring w
SPRING: Go home, you’re drunk. It’s over.

WINTER: ...

SPRING: What are you ...why are you ... get down from there!

WINTER: ...

SPRING: Winter, get down off the bar. Now.

WINTER: 🎶Aaaaaand Iiiiiiiiiiiii am telllllllllllllin’ you-🎶

SPRING: Oh god
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
how to train your dragon how to train your dragon 2 um ok your dragon really should be trained by now your dra
How To Train Your Dragon

How To Train Your Dragon 2

Um Ok Your Dragon Really Should Be Trained By Now

Your Dragon's Not The Problem Dude
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
things to ask for breathily in the no gays allowed hardware store 1 studfinder 2 caulk 2 tongue and groove jaw
Things to ask for, breathily, in the NO GAYS ALLOWED hardware store:

1. Studfinder
2. Caulk
2. Tongue-and-groove jaw pliers
3. Brass nipples
4. Ballpeen hammer
5. Handyman wrench
6. Ball-and-socket joint
7. Male-to-male adapters
8. Big, long, coarse screws
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
64 years ago today the fellowship of the ring was published 64 years ago tomorrow the first jerk asked why don
64 years ago today, THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING was published.

64 years ago tomorrow, the first jerk asked “Why don’t the eagles just fly them to Mordor?”
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
us so we take tea right uk jolly good us then we dump sugar in it uk hm well ok us and we serve it cold over i
US: so we take tea right
UK: jolly good
US: then we dump sugar in it
UK: hm well ok
US: and we serve it cold over ice
UK: do you also fry it
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
celebrating tolkien s birthday by walking from dc to denver to return some jewelry
Celebrating Tolkien's birthday by walking from DC to Denver to return some jewelry.
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
tv twin peaks back us yay tv x files us yay tv mr show us yay tv coach us um tv full house us uh tv just tell
TV: TWIN PEAKS back
US: Yay
TV: X-FILES
US: Yay
TV: MR. SHOW
US: Yay
TV: COACH
US: Um
TV: FULL HOUSE
US: Uh
TV: JUST TELL ME HOW TO LOVE YOU
Glen Weldon
ghweldon
last jedi is too jokey and the jokes are too contemporary and
“LAST JEDI is too jokey and the jokes are too contemporary and”
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Total(1) => 0.12281394004822 f_f_QM(2) => 0.09968090057373 indS(2) => 0.053991079330444 indM(2) => 0.043697118759155 indM_1(2) => 0.0029420852661133 indM_2(2) => 0.00084280967712402 indM_4(2) => 0.003129243850708 indM_5(2) => 0.0028190612792969 indM_6(2) => 0.0016460418701172 indM_7(2) => 0.0073211193084717 indM_8(2) => 0.0012309551239014 indM_9(2) => 0.012170791625977 indM_10(2) => 0.011268854141235 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.02096700668335 f_f_dT(20) => 0.020554065704346