Glen Weldon

Glen Weldon


Author, THE CAPED CRUSADE. Unauthor, SUPERMAN: THE UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY. Panelist, NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour.

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Ollie's running away with this. And in those tight jeans and leather, he's gonna chafe.

HOT SERVER: Any bread? ME: Nope. HOT SERVER: (looks me over) ME: ... HOT SERVER: I get it. (WINK) ME: 400 percent tip is that mathematically possible or

THE CROWN returns to Netflix on Sunday, and if you can think of a better, more comforting way to spend ten hours on the couch as gray gloomy winter light leaches into your living room, I don’t wanna hear it.

“Have you no sense of pizzazz, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of pizzazz?”

Relax everyone. Everyone knows no jail can hold ....The Penguin.

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Ooh wait I know this one - so now that Richard Madden’s broken up with his roommate he’ll go over to his mate’s flat for some brews and his mate’ll be all “That guy’s a wanker” and Richard will be like “Too right” and his mate’ll be like “Wanna massage I’m getting certified” and

F: ... and whatever, irregardless. ME: Regardless. Irregardless isn’t a word. F: ... ME: ... F: ... ME: ... what F: We wouldn’t have been friends in high school

Annual reminder that a turkey has 3 WHOLLY DIFFERENT KINDS of gross fleshy head growths: 1. The wattle! 2. The caruncle! 3. The snood!

Fun fact: “Gobble gobble gobble” means “Does this look infected to you?”

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PERSEPHONE: I'm back, Mom. DEMETER: Your mail's on the counter. How's Mopey McGee? PERSEPHONE: Do we have to do this now? DEMETER: Finish his novel yet? PERSEPHONE: Mom. DEMETER: "The Sorrow & The More Sorrow" was it? PERSEPHONE: I'm not doing this. I'll be back in a week. [SLAM]

MARY: How's the room? JOSEPH: Um ... rustic. MARY: It's clean, though? JOSEPH: Well, it's not immaculate. (To self) But then who is. MARY: Hm? JOSEPH: Nothing.

How To Train Your Dragon How To Train Your Dragon 2 Um Ok Your Dragon Really Should Be Trained By Now Your Dragon's Not The Problem Dude

SPRING: Go home, you’re drunk. It’s over. WINTER: ... SPRING: What are you ...why are you ... get down from there! WINTER: ... SPRING: Winter, get down off the bar. Now. WINTER: 🎶Aaaaaand Iiiiiiiiiiiii am telllllllllllllin’ you-🎶 SPRING: Oh god

Things to ask for, breathily, in the NO GAYS ALLOWED hardware store: 1. Studfinder 2. Caulk 2. Tongue-and-groove jaw pliers 3. Brass nipples 4. Ballpeen hammer 5. Handyman wrench 6. Ball-and-socket joint 7. Male-to-male adapters 8. Big, long, coarse screws

US: so we take tea right UK: jolly good US: then we dump sugar in it UK: hm well ok US: and we serve it cold over ice UK: do you also fry it

TV: TWIN PEAKS back US: Yay TV: X-FILES US: Yay TV: MR. SHOW US: Yay TV: COACH US: Um TV: FULL HOUSE US: Uh TV: JUST TELL ME HOW TO LOVE YOU

64 years ago today, THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING was published. 64 years ago tomorrow, the first jerk asked “Why don’t the eagles just fly them to Mordor?”

“LAST JEDI is too jokey and the jokes are too contemporary and”

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