christine teigen

christine teigen


de-motivational speaker

13696344 followers  •  4813 follow  •    •   https://t.co/tAkRWUl9fS

this meghan markle shit is hitting too close to home for me. these people won’t stop until she miscarries. fucking stop it.

before u write someone “why are you still up” ask yourself: “why do I choose to be so annoying? is there still time to change”

Wowowowowow I was so proud to bring a tuna wrap wrapped with collard greens instead of carbs upstairs as my night sammy but it tastes way too much like tuna wrapped with collard greens. just horrific stuff

Hey. For over 10 years, you guys have been my world. I honestly owe so much to this world we have created here. I truly consider so many of you my actual friends.

But it’s time for me to say goodbye. This no longer serves me as positively as it serves me negatively, and I think that’s the right time to call something.

turns out it feels TERRIBLE to silence yourself and also no longer enjoy belly chuckles randomly throughout the day and also lose like 2000 friends at once lol

I’ve spent weeks just saying tweets to shampoo bottles

really upsetting hashtag sentence structure happening here

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!!! annnnnnnd me and john are in it!

omg it’s Monday??? i missed Elon how was Elon!!

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After 9 years of hating Donald J Trump, telling him "lol no one likes you" was the straw

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John when you tell him he looks like Arthur

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In celebration of whatever the fuck maga night is, I am committed to donating $100,000 to the bail outs of protestors across the country.

Trump HATES the fact this has empty seats. Definitely don’t share this. It will upset him so.

lol what a pussy ass bitch. tagged everyone but me. an honor, mister president.

I am so stupid and so tired please stop expecting things from me

And KEEP THIS SAME ENERGY WHEN YOU VOTE. The worst thing that could happen is this all happening for nothing.

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