Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler


Comedian, TV personality, Activist and Psychic. #1 NYT Best Seller - LIFE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME? New iHeart Podcast every Thursday | Stand-Up Comedy Tour??

8233710 followers  •  543 follow  •    •   https://t.co/MtOoZu3wBs

Every night I read my dogs a bedtime story. Right now, we’re reading @veryangrypres ’s new book. It’s entertaining, hilarious, and most importantly, making fun of Donald Trump. You can get it now on Amazon . #veryangrypresidentbook 

tweet picture

Me at the beginning of the decade vs. the end

A recent study said women are drinking more now than in the past years. Which makes sense. Trump is president, Republicans want control of our bodies, and every time we turn on the news we have to see Stephen Miller’s face. You’d be shitfaced, too!

Can someone explain to me why Rudy Giuliani is still running around Ukraine digging up dirt and the entire Republican Party is okay with this I’m light of everything that is going on, like impeachment hearings? Seriously, what In actual fuck? I have to take an edible.

The great thing is that I don’t have to pick a lane. I can do whatever I want.

Bill O’Reilly’s dog finding out he’s Bill O’Reilly’s dog.

tweet picture

Congrats to my friend of many years @LeahRemini  on getting the Truth To Power Award at the @IDAorg  awards. You are the definition of bravery and of sticking your neck out. I love you and I applaud you. Very proud to call you a friend.

tweet picture

The @HillaryClinton  interview on @sternshow  is so good, I just took a shower with my AirPods in. And they still work!

Russia banned for four years to include 2020 Olympics and 2022 World Cup - BBC Sport

Loading
Loading

Hey dumbass, global warming doesn’t only mean extreme heat; it means extreme weather. Hot and cold. Maybe buy a thermometer and shove it up your ass.

Of those 25 men who voted to ban abortion in Alabama, I’d like to know how many of them have ever been pregnant. Or have gotten pregnant as a result of rape. I’d like to know how many of those men know exactly what it is like to be a woman. The answer is zero.

Trump says his daughter has been treated ‘so unfairly’ by Nordstrom. Oh, was she detained for 19 hours when she tried to enter the store?

Chlorpyrifos is a chemical from Dow Chemical Company. It came from the nazis and is a nerve agent that does irreversible brain damage. It was supposed to banned this year, but trump decided to let it be used on fruits and vegetables. Dow gave trump 1 million dollars.

When you’re worried that your wife copied off of Michelle again.

tweet picture

We need to start naming guns after women, that way Republicans will try and regulate them.

10 days. He’s spending the same amount of time in jail that parents who committed college bribery are spending. Why? Because he’s black.

Just a friendly reminder for the weekend: No white after Labor Day, and no old, white racist men after the midterms. Get out and vote.

Loading
Loading