Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler


Comedian, TV personality, Activist and Psychic. #1 NYT Best Seller - LIFE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME? New iHeart Podcast every Thursday | Stand-Up Comedy Tour??

8250479 followers  •  530 follow  •    •   https://t.co/MtOoZu3wBs

There is so much good change happening tonight. It’s nice to know that people will show up and keep showing up for what is right. Usually I have to take an edible to watch the news but not last night.

My sister and I did Kate and Ollies’s podcast—Sibling Revelry, and we talked about how annoying we all find each other. Sibling rivalry is alive and well, especially in Oliver’s head.

LIFE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME is nominated for a GoodReads Choice Award...if you read it, and loved it, vote below 🍊:

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DACA recipients are our neighbors, classmates, coworkers, and friends. This November, demand the Supreme Court recognize that their #HomeIsHere 

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Two oranges, two shows. Thank you, Vancouver. I’ll see you again, tonight. #lifewillbethedearhofme  #standuptour 

While we celebrate the 30th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, we have a president trying to build one. Failing repeatedly, but still trying. #MoronInChief 

-This how everyone at TSA looks at me after reading my tweets about cannabis.

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Happy #VeteransDay  to everyone that didn’t fake bone spurs to get out of serving our country. You are a hero.

Really surprised by this news about Stephen Miller. You think you know someone and then they turn out to be so much more than just a white supremacist Nazi.

Can we please stop taking about the whistleblower? Their report has been corroborated now by multiple people who were there. Why are republicans still talking about the whistleblower when we should be talking about our president?

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Hey dumbass, global warming doesn’t only mean extreme heat; it means extreme weather. Hot and cold. Maybe buy a thermometer and shove it up your ass.

Of those 25 men who voted to ban abortion in Alabama, I’d like to know how many of them have ever been pregnant. Or have gotten pregnant as a result of rape. I’d like to know how many of those men know exactly what it is like to be a woman. The answer is zero.

Trump says his daughter has been treated ‘so unfairly’ by Nordstrom. Oh, was she detained for 19 hours when she tried to enter the store?

Chlorpyrifos is a chemical from Dow Chemical Company. It came from the nazis and is a nerve agent that does irreversible brain damage. It was supposed to banned this year, but trump decided to let it be used on fruits and vegetables. Dow gave trump 1 million dollars.

10 days. He’s spending the same amount of time in jail that parents who committed college bribery are spending. Why? Because he’s black.

We need to start naming guns after women, that way Republicans will try and regulate them.

When you’re worried that your wife copied off of Michelle again.

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Just a friendly reminder for the weekend: No white after Labor Day, and no old, white racist men after the midterms. Get out and vote.

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