Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler

Comedian, TV personality, Activist and Psychic. #1 NYT Best Seller - LIFE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME? New iHeart Podcast every Thursday | Stand-Up Comedy Tour??

8059013 followers  •  564 follow  •    •

Today is #BlackOutDay2020 . It's an economic protest against police brutality and racial injustice. Hit these billionaires where it matters most. If you need something today, buy it from a black-owned business. Then keep buying it from that black-owned business moving forward.

If there’s any political party that will keep your kids safe at school, it’s Republicans. Listen to the same people who say teachers should have guns. That’s the ticket! It should be a war crime to lie to the American public during a pandemic, or really, just repeatedly.

Yesterday, Pence told Americans that all PPE has been provided to medical workers, and then 2 minutes later told all medical workers to start reusing their face masks and PPE.

If you start your adderrall later in the day, I believe the country could start healing. And stop snorting. It’s a pill.

Yeah, but you’re the biggest asshole of all time. That’s why, you silly little goose.

No sweetie. Our infection rate is higher. Testing or no testing we have more hospitalizations and deaths than any country.


Imagine being incarcerated for a marijuana-related offense and then seeing it deemed “essential business”.

Hey dumbass, global warming doesn’t only mean extreme heat; it means extreme weather. Hot and cold. Maybe buy a thermometer and shove it up your ass.

Trump says his daughter has been treated ‘so unfairly’ by Nordstrom. Oh, was she detained for 19 hours when she tried to enter the store?

What does Mitch McConnell have to say about having one voting place for 600,000 people in the state of Kentucky? One location. Kentucky had over 3700 voting places in 2016, now they have 200. Vote him out. Today.

The administration is looking for the leaker who told us that Russia is putting bounties on our military. They’re not looking for ways to punish Russia. They’re not looking at the team of people who knew and did nothing to protect our soldiers. They are looking for the leaker.

When you’re worried that your wife copied off of Michelle again.

tweet picture

Chlorpyrifos is a chemical from Dow Chemical Company. It came from the nazis and is a nerve agent that does irreversible brain damage. It was supposed to banned this year, but trump decided to let it be used on fruits and vegetables. Dow gave trump 1 million dollars.

57 Buffalo police officers resigned in solidarity with their colleagues who were suspended for pushing a 75 year old man to the ground, landing him in the hospital. 57 people in one police department that think knocking an elderly man to the ground is ok. #DefundThePolice