Bill Maher

Bill Maher

The Official Bill Maher Twitter

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“We’re in this together” is the new “Thank you for your service” – just something to say to the people doing the dirty work so we can feel better about not doing it ourselves. #CovidEconomy  #SideHustle 

When @TheDemocrats  are in power, @CPAC  blames everything on the government. When Republicans are in power, they blame the deep state. When they're really out of power, they blame windmills.

Memo to social Justice warriors: when what you're doing sounds like an Onion headline, stop. #CancelCultureIsOverParty 

It's time to raise awareness about a very serious problem: raising awareness. We raise too much of it. Must we be sad about everything all the time?

Nothing ever moves in this impacted colon of a country. We see a problem and we ignore it, lie about it, fight about it. When China sees a problem, they fix it. They build a dam, we debate what to rename it. #SpoilerAlert  #WeLost 

White House staffers have been suspended or asked to resign over past marijuana use. Trump was crushing Sudafeds with a bust of Churchill and snorting it off the Resolute desk, and we're worried about some weed?

American kids now have a totally deluded and unearned belief in their charm, brains, and talent. It's not only that the entire generation wants to be famous, it's that they think not being famous isn't fair. #EqualityofOutcomes 

So much of the rot in our society stems from our modern-day version of Prohibition. The people fleeing at the border? That's the Drug War.

Matt Gaetz was allegedly giving ecstasy to women, and Republican ecstasy is a little different though. It makes you stay up all night hugging the flag and screwing poor people.

I don't have to leave the theater whistling, but would it kill Hollywood to once in a while make a movie that doesn't make me want to take a bath with the toaster? We all had a rough year, a little escapism would have been appreciated. #Oscars21  #OscarNoms 


China is a dictatorship that, for decades, enforced a one child per family policy under penalty of forced sterilization. But they can't close down the farmer's market from hell? #CoronaVirus  #WetMarkets 

Message to Trump voters: Vote Democrat, because as soon as this election is over, no one will give a shit about the caravan. But you'll still have diabetes.

What's going on in NC, WI and MI is not getting nearly enough attention - this 'let's strip all of the Democrats' powers before they take office' - they never stop going lower. Media, do. your. fucking. job!!

Why can’t Democrats learn to do what Republicans do and just repeat 1 point that seals your case, as: “You said Mexico wld pay for the wall”...just say that 1 thing and nothing else till this mess is over! What else needs to be said?

Don't forget to set clocks back so we get an extra hour of laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering how everything turned to shit

“This idea of purity and you’re never compromised, and you’re always politically woke and all that stuff — you should get over that quickly.” - @BarackObama  #BlueRipple 

Hello 9 1 1? There s an old man beating a child on my tv

A prez shld really check where his own country is in the rankings for literacy, infant mortality, life expectancy, infrastructure, income inequality, percentage of women in govt, etc before saying who's the shithole country...