bert kreischer

bert kreischer

I am a Party Animal, Comedian, Actor, Author, Host, Fast Eater, Husband, Dad...I am the Machine. Go watch my specials #TheMachine & #SecretTime now on Netflix!

738020 followers  •  5191 follow  •    •

I miss early morning drinking on a plane!

I do - I want to have a tall cold beer and watch a minor league game!!!

I have pretty strong feelings about Harold Macmillan’ wife Lady Dorothy Cavendish.

Mickey Mantle baseball card shatters record, sells for $5.2 million

@GoBigShowTBS  premiered last week as the highest rated unscripted show in the last 3 years for @TBSNetwork ! Ep. 2 is coming in hot tonight at 9/8c! #GoBigShow    #ItsGoTime 

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. Sigmund Freud#ALONE 

Maybe I should take up boxing and sign one of these boxing deals.


This is who I want next to me at an airport bar at 6 am

PLEASE RETWEET THIS if you think @tacobell  is making A mistake by CANCELING the Mexican pizza!!! With enough RT’s maybe we can stop this!!!

My new series THE CABIN starts streaming on @Netflixisajoke  October 13. HERE is the trailer.

I’m starting this ground swell - the people’s movement - I want #BillMurray  on the EXPERIENCE!!! Please RT until your fingers bleed!

2 words FUCKING GANGSTER – I fully support @DaveChappelle  check out his latest IGTV post and together we should #boycottChappelleshow . Link below

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I am bias but @joerogan  would do a MUCH better job monitoring a debate BTWN @JoeBiden  & @realDonaldTrump  than Christopher Wallace. #makeithappen 

My new @NetflixIsAJoke  special ‘Hey Big Boy’ is coming your way March 17th!!