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Executive Producer -- @theEllenShow -- Views expressed here do not reflect those of America's sweetheart Ellen DeGeneres. ALSO the @LAKings make me happy.

Latest Scoops

andy lassner
andylassner
hahaha
Hahaha
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andy lassner
andylassner
another nhl playoffs upset congrats avalanche
Another NHL playoffs upset.
Congrats @Avalanche
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andy lassner
andylassner
❤️
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andy lassner
andylassner
funny but i dont recall our former president and his press secretary pathologically lying to the american peop
@BobFary @PressSec Funny, but I don’t recall our former president and his press secretary pathologically lying to the American people on a daily basis.
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andy lassner
andylassner
lol
Lol
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andy lassner
andylassner
and happy easter
חג פסח שמח
And happy Easter 🐣
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andy lassner
andylassner
im so sorry sending you so much love my friend i cant imagine how hard this is in on all of you
I’m so sorry. Sending you so much love, my friend. I can’t imagine how hard this is in on all of you. ❤️
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andy lassner
andylassner
representing devincow
Representing.
⁦@DevinCow⁩
andy lassner
andylassner
this is an excellent tweet
This is an excellent tweet.
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andy lassner
andylassner
i wonder if rod rosenstein has blinked yet
I wonder if Rod Rosenstein has blinked yet
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The Most Relevant

andy lassner
andylassner
not totally sure how rap battles work but i believe eminem is now the president of the united states of americ
Not totally sure how rap battles work, but I believe Eminem is now the President of the United States of America.
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andy lassner
andylassner
do not use this photo of donald trump he does not like it he told reporters he hates it please retweet
Do NOT use this photo of Donald Trump.
He does NOT like it.
He told reporters he HATES it.

Please RETWEET.
andy lassner
andylassner
he promised them mexico would pay for it they cheer now he tells them we must pay for it they cheer because th
He promised them Mexico would pay for it.

They cheer.

Now he tells them we must pay for it.

They cheer.

Because that’s how cults work.
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andy lassner
andylassner
please do not use the hashtag in reference to he does not like it thank you
Please DO NOT use the hashtag #YachtCocaineProstitutes in reference to @DevinNunes.

He does not like it.

Thank you.

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andy lassner
andylassner
sure i m old enough to be your dad but i listen to baby on loop in my car and pretend we re friends tbt
"Sure I'm old enough to be your dad but I listen to 'Baby' on loop in my car and pretend we're friends"

#TBT
andy lassner
andylassner
retweet only if you know someone who was sexually assaulted but didn t come forward for fear of being shamed a
Retweet only if you know someone who was sexually assaulted but didn't come forward for fear of being shamed and blamed.
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andy lassner
andylassner
the entire world laughed the entire world heard the laughter edited out the laughter is no different than the
The entire world laughed.

The entire world heard the laughter.

edited out the laughter.

is no different than the Russian and North Korean news outlets.
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andy lassner
andylassner
dear media president trump lies he doesnt reverse his position tell untruths exaggerate distort speak in hyper
Dear media,

President Trump lies.

He doesn’t “reverse his position”, “tell untruths”, “exaggerate”, “distort”, “speak in hyperboles” or “state inaccurately”.

He fucking lies.
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andy lassner
andylassner
maybe electing a career criminal to be president was a bad idea
Maybe electing a career criminal to be president was a bad idea.
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andy lassner
andylassner
we did it the cow that is suing officially has more twitter followers than he does devin nunes epic self own i
WE DID IT!!

The cow that @DevinNunes is suing officially has more twitter followers than he does!!

Devin Nunes’ epic self own is now complete.

Congratulations @altgenkelly!

Thank you for reminding us all what a colossally pathetic putz Devin Nunes is#BeButter.

🐄
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Total(1) => 0.12146902084351 f_f_QM(2) => 0.099592924118042 indS(2) => 0.065730094909668 indM(2) => 0.03203010559082 indM_1(2) => 0.0020968914031982 indM_2(2) => 0.0011229515075684 indM_4(2) => 0.0019431114196777 indM_5(2) => 0.002068042755127 indM_6(2) => 0.00152587890625 indM_7(2) => 0.004802942276001 indM_8(2) => 0.001154899597168 indM_9(2) => 0.0088210105895996 indM_10(2) => 0.0081100463867188 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.01997184753418 f_f_dT(20) => 0.01945424079895