The Onion

The Onion


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Man Takes Sober Moment To Reflect On Fact That Most Of Meal Already Gone

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TikTok Apologizes After Inadvertently Giving Platform To Thousands Of Theater Kids

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37-Year-Old Worried He Might Have Missed Boat On Becoming Child Prodigy

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Physicists Hail Major Breakthrough After Discovering Neutrinos Just Little Italian Neutrons

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Giant Burrito To Solve All Of Area Man’s Problems For 6 Precious Minutes

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KitchenAid Unveils New Lobster Sedation Kit To Reduce Cruelty Of Boiling Them Alive

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Trump Administration Plants 137,000 Corpses In Fauci’s Bed To Frame Him For Coronavirus Deaths

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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Protestors Criticized For Looting Businesses Without Forming Private Equity Firm First

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Popular New Amazon Service Just Comes To Your House And Kills You

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Logan Paul: 'I Didn’t Realize People Who Commit Suicide Kill Themselves'

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Community Of Losers Comes Together To Clean Graffiti Off Multinational Banking Conglomerate

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