The Onion

The Onion


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U.S. High School Gets Raw End Of Student Exchange

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Mom Scolds Child For Pointing At Homeless Man Instead Of Ignoring His Very Existence

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Realtor Was Not Expecting Such Hard-Hitting Questions About Water Pressure

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Pervert On Subway Won’t Stop Staring At Masturbator

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Chemistry Teacher Encouraging Students To Fuck Around With Bunsen Burners In Last-Ditch Effort To Prove Science Is Cool

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Warby Parker Apologizes For Years Of Testing Glasses On Animals

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Matt Gaetz Solemnly Raises Pistol To Head After Realizing He Used Barron Trump’s Name While Scolding Witness For Using Barron Trump’s Name

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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Popular New Amazon Service Just Comes To Your House And Kills You

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Logan Paul: 'I Didn’t Realize People Who Commit Suicide Kill Themselves'

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Taylor Swift Inspires Teen To Come Out As Straight Woman Needing To Be At Center Of Gay Rights Narrative

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