The Onion

The Onion


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Viewers Disappointed New ‘Frozen 2’ Trailer Provides Almost No Clues To The Specifics Of Trump’s Conversations With Ukrainian President

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Netflix CEO Chews Out Content Creators In Post-Emmys Locker Room Tirade

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Feeble, Wrinkled Greta Thunberg Ages Decades After Spending Excruciating Hour Pleading With World Leaders

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Obsessive-Compulsive Baseball Player Has To Touch All 3 Bases Before Going Home

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Friend Of Bruce Springsteen Has Been Thinking Of Excuses To Avoid Checking Out His Band For 50 Years

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"Instead of going around the world and giving speeches in which she urges people to save the planet, shouldn’t she be commiserating with her friends about how pointless life is and how we’d all be better off dead? I just don’t get it."

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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Popular New Amazon Service Just Comes To Your House And Kills You

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Logan Paul: 'I Didn’t Realize People Who Commit Suicide Kill Themselves'

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Taylor Swift Inspires Teen To Come Out As Straight Woman Needing To Be At Center Of Gay Rights Narrative

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"Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you."

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