The Onion

The Onion


America's Finest News Source. http://instagram.com/theonion

11695507 followers  •  8 follow  •  Eastern Time (US & Canada)  •   http://www.theonion.com

Biden Scales Down $2 Trillion Climate Plan To Single Reusable Grocery Bag

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Kanye West Announces His New Name Is Tim

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Study: ‘Hangin’ In There’ Best One Can Now Feel

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Woman Tragically Succumbs To Natural Hair Color

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Crypto-Averse Man Would Prefer Investing In Traditional Stock Market He Also Doesn’t Understand

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Thrift Store’s Bookshelf Has Some Pretty Solid PS2 Games

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Millions Of Animals Migrating To North America Over Land Bridge Of Stalled Cargo Ships

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Report: Majority Of Money Donated At Church Doesn't Make It To God

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Report: Getting Out Of Bed In Morning Sharply Increases Risk Of Things Getting Even Worse

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Dream Crushed Over Trivial Bullshit Represents Nation Better Than Gold Medal Ever Could

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Sympathetic Police Know What It’s Like To Have A Bad Day And Kill 8 People

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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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Protestors Criticized For Looting Businesses Without Forming Private Equity Firm First

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Priceless NFT Artwork Vandalized With Spray Paint Tool

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‘The Onion’ Calls On Israel To Bomb Our Offices In Case Any Hamas Agents Hiding Out There

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