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178,244 followers   •   6,552 following   •   ÜT: 42.352328,-71.095774   •   http://www.cbsnews.com
Chasing Trump on the campaign trail for @cbsnews. Stand up comic. NBA junkie. Pianist. RTs aren't endorsements. @comatbu alum

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@RalstonReports @svdate my campaign reporting days are hazy to me, but if i recall correctly, he opened for almost every single one of trump's nevada rallies
I can’t stop laughing, @MattNegrin.
well im an idiot. i meant i would WHISTLE the whistle solo. there is no real reason for me to hum it.
seeing paul simon tonight with @NYTnickc. it's going to be two hours of me humming the whistle solo from me and julio.
This is very similar to that scene from The Office where Michael Scott does the Chris Rock bit in front of Larry Wilmore: https://t.co/ySbLSN4yUz
the NBA is the best league. it's not close.
I am -- no understatement -- absolutely blown away by @ebruenig's piece here. Every word is worth a read.
https://t.co/aMOiiaoa7c
ooookay. i just learned randy newman was one of the writers of "Three Amigos"-- his only film writing credit!
thank you @KingJames for offering me the wayne knight role in the new space jam. I won’t let you down!
Total(1) => 0.083678007125854 f_f_QM(2) => 0.076097011566162 indS(2) => 0.05864691734314 indM(2) => 0.015513896942139 indM_1(2) => 0.0034689903259277 indM_2(2) => 0.00081801414489746 indM_4(2) => 0.002918004989624 indM_5(2) => 0.0031869411468506 indM_6(2) => 0.0015699863433838 indM_7(2) => 0.0021042823791504 indM_8(2) => 0.00092315673828125 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.0059590339660645 f_f_dT(19) => 0.0056753158569336