I wrote a book called Yearbook. It’s true stories and essays and stuff that I hope you think are funny. It comes out in May, but if you like you can order it now. Yay!

If anyone would like some actual (friendly) writing advice for the next few minutes please feel free to ask! I’m no L. Ron Hubbard but I’ll do my best.

As congress considers a new #COVID19  relief package, we need elected leadership to step up for family #caregivers  by including #PaidLeave . It's the smart & right thing to do for the millions hurting right now. @JoeBiden  @NancyPelosi  @SenSchumer  @SenSanders 

I’m not trolling you. This was objectively stupid. I honestly have no clue who you are beyond this stupid tweet.

Let’s not focus on the fact that @tedcruz  doesn’t understand movies and focus more on the fact that he inspired a deadly insurrection by perpetuating lies about mass voter fraud.

I made these glazes and these ashtrays and put the glazes on the ashtrays:

100% thought that was Vin Diesel till I read the headline.

I think @SenTedCruz  is desperately trying to rebrand from the “inspired a deadly insurrection” motherfucker to the “left my constituents to freeze to death so I could go to Cancun” motherfucker, but luckily he can be both. He’s just that big a motherfucker.

Almost ten years I go, I envisioned having my own weed company. And today I can say that my company Houseplant's weed will be available in California next week! Also, Houseplant is making lovely Housegoods like ashtrays, lighters, and YES, even ceramics.

This is our Pancake Ice sativa. (All our strains are named after weather systems like we did with Pineapple Express). Our Pancake Ice is what I smoke all day. It’s over 33% THC.