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(VERY SERIOUS) Chicago Tribune humor columnist (syndicated). Narwhal lover. Hypocrisy enthusiast.

Latest Scoops

Excellent and important historical context here from @Will_Bunch. Trump is leaning into dictatorial style, but our complacency, at least in part, made it possible.
I'm sorry. You're right. It's too soon.
A big Huppke Barfday to the talented and truth-talking @LouDPhillips, who taught me everything I know about being extremely handsome. Hope the day is outstanding.
Make sure you tell all your Trump-supporting relatives that not only will we all be paying for the wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for, we’ll also be paying for the legal costs of the government defending Trump’s asinine national emergency in court. #SoMuchWinning
A big Huppke Barfday to the great and truly kind @Misstabstevens! Hope your day is wonderful and largely Trump-free.
Call me crazy, but I think random outbreaks of gun violence that take lives or change them irrevocably are a bit more of a national emergency than the imaginary brown-people invasion our racist president wills himself and his lackeys to believe is happening at the border.
I don’t know about you guys, but I feel safer already.
Sean Hannity is now running our country.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be under the bed.
Donald Trump isn’t so much giving a speech as he is cutting a powerful pro-25th Amendment advertisement.

The Most Relevant

Pause a moment and consider the way Jeff Bezos was being threatened. Now envision what Trump’s pal at the National Enquirer has on Ted Cruz, and ask yourself why Cruz went from hating Trump to loving him. Now do the same thing for Lindsey Graham. And all those Evangelicals. 😈
Please do not tweet the #TreasonSummit hashtag as it might become a top trending topic and embarrass our president while he is engaging in treason at the summit, which is a .
Exclusive video of Rush Limbaugh fleeing Florida after calling Hurricane Irma a liberal hoax.
Video player
Holy crap, the comments on the Boy Scouts of America Facebook page are 🔥🔥🔥.
My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.
BREAKING: Picking Sarah Palin as a vice presidential candidate drops to No. 2 on the Worst Things John McCain Has Done list
This little girl wishes she was somewhere less scary, like in a dark room with a clown holding a machete.
I think black people should be allowed to call the police on white people who look like they might call the police on black people.
Great night for everyone except women, immigrants, Muslims, LBGT people, POC, the disabled, anyone who was ever bullied... #ElectionNight
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