Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel

Chancellor of Germany, Chairwoman of the Christian Democratic Union, Member of the Bundestag, exasperated, not panicking, parody.

259526 followers  •  80 follow  •    •  

Brussels update: @vonderleyen  won’t let him have the cake. Risk of red wine spillage 30%.

Downgraded Brexit from Free Again to Mutant Strain #merkelratings 

Hi @BorisJohnson  shall we extend the transition period today or would you rather do your last minute thing on that as well?

Upgraded #Brexit  from Oh God No to Here We Fucking Go #merkelratings 

It’s a good thing there are no recklessly optimistic Brits or awkward Frenchmen involved

Happy Brexmas my dear British friends. May your fish be plentiful and your export declarations correctly certified. #FroheWeihnachten 

Better send a text to wish @BorisJohnson  a Merry Christmas, since he appears to be ten days behind the rest of us.

I can assure you that my departure from office is going to be very boring.


So, the kids are finally leaving home. They’ve messed up the house, called us names and got into fights, but we still love them. Time to do your own laundry and learn how to use the microwave, my British friends. X

Don’t want to piss on your parade @BorisJohnson  but if this track and trace system is really world class, how come it took 8 weeks to figure out your chief adviser was at the wrong end of the country?

Bloody Johnson always has to go one better doesn’t he. Christ I’m bored. #merkelquarantine 

Fucks sake I’m going to have a lot more time for tweeting #merkelquarantine