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1,429,556 followers   •   2,197 following   •   Indianapolis   •   http://ShirtsForAmerica.c
Guiness Book Record Holder attempting 2 make folks laugh. 1st comedy special Pat McAfee: UNCAGED is on iTunes. My mom said it doesn't suck. Snap~FourthDownBoss

Latest Scoops

Still warm. Still delicious. Still regret waiting until now
Greatest daily football show on the internet #QuickHits... Come get much much dumber with us ~> https://t.co/1b4ykIcspp
We have finally landed.. thanks for following along with my incredibly torturous travel sitch.. I will let the world know how this cold ass, onion smelling ass, problem causing ass burger tastes
We’re “beginning initial descent”.. only 20-30 more minutes of staring at a god damn paper bag
Absurd amount of folks have told me to take this onion wreaking burger to the bathroom to eat... Have yinz ever been on a plane? It’s a portapotty in the sky.. just smaller. Much much smaller.
Onions in a confined space is against every basic rule of humanity.
Currently sitting on a plane starving and staring at a bag with a triple burger inside of it.. can’t open the bag tho because I ordered grilled onions on the burger.. I wish this plane knew the struggle I’m going thru right now.. Just drooling and staring at this god damn bag.
I am ALL ABOUT the dropkick making a comeback in a big way with @mdcksn #ForTheBrand
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Total(1) => 0.07024884223938 f_f_QM(2) => 0.062441825866699 indS(2) => 0.044174909591675 indM(2) => 0.016518115997314 indM_1(2) => 0.0017731189727783 indM_2(2) => 0.00072216987609863 indM_4(2) => 0.0033550262451172 indM_5(2) => 0.0035378932952881 indM_6(2) => 0.0024738311767578 indM_7(2) => 0.002687931060791 indM_8(2) => 0.0014140605926514 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.0063581466674805 f_f_dT(20) => 0.0060629844665527