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just found out im banned in china. shit fucking sucks so hard dude

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The continuing absence of the question ‘Why is Brexit a good idea?’ from pretty much all Brexit coverage seems significant to say the least.

“I sent the letter I swore I’d never send but I didn’t sign it because that way newspapers owned by the Barclay brothers, Rupert Murdoch, Viscount Rothermere & ((this still stuns me)) the Mirror Group can pretend I’m not a chiselling coward.”

“Are you going to the kitchen?” - Translation: Go to the kitchen, return with cake

It's better to be slapped by the truth than kissed with a lie.

“So you promised not to try some tedious infantile prank with the letter. What did you do?” “Tedious infantile prank with the letter”

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The best boyfriend isn't the best-looking, the funniest, or the richest. It's the one that makes sure you know he loves you.

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