Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan

Male Model. Long snapper. My first wife is @jeanniegaffigan. NOBLE APE available to rent/buy NOW. All new material in QUALITY TIME TOUR.

3221931 followers  •  2833 follow  •    •   https://t.co/cp02zQzqdN

I'm bringing the FUN Tour to Florida this December. Tix at my website. Watch more here:

Everyone loves the fall season except leaves. #firstdayoffall  Keep watching:

There should be a name for the short period of enjoyment you experience after you eat something unhealthy but right before you feel nauseous and spin into a pool of regret. Suggestions?

Minneapolis! I’m so excited for my shows this weekend (Thursday-Saturday) at the The State Theater. Thanks to everyone who has come to the FUN Tour. Tix at .

tweet picture

Someone should come up with a fantasy football league but instead of picking players for key positions, you cared about every eligible citizen’s right to vote.

We just sent our 15 year old son to the grocery store to buy 4 cans of beans. It's 4 blocks away. How long will it take? Will he return with the cans of beans? (prayer hands emoji)

I guess we’re all going to act like it being this warm in November is normal.

Hey! Tonight (10pm E) on your local CBS station there is a special @CBSSunday  primetime special: "Forever Young: Searching for the Fountain of Youth". I found the fountain of youth!!! Well, I did a small thing for the special. I'm sure it will make someone angry. I love you


Can you imagine if a President bizarrely claimed a highly contagious virus would “just disappear” like 30 times over 6 months and then the virus DIDN’T just disappear? Nobody in their right mind would vote to re-elect that level of incompetence.

I dont give a fuck if anyone thinks this is virtue signaling or whatever. We need to wake up. We need to call trump the con man and thief that he is.

to those of you who think Im destroying my career wake up. if trump gets elected, the economy will never come back.

You know Trump just creates enemies. You know you can't trust him. You know he been incompetent during this crisis. You know all those people didn't need to die. Trump talks about the Space Program and you can't safely go to a movie. Wake up

Expecting equal justice and being against police brutality is NOT “being political”. It’s called basic empathy. I’m sorry if my opinions on these things are “too radical” for a couple of you. Go in peace. Also Trump is a monster!

Look Trumpers I get it. As a kid I was a cubs fan and I know you stick by your team no matter what but he's a traitor and a con man who doesn't care about you. Deep down you know it. I'm sure you enjoy pissing people off but you know Trump is a liar and a criminal.

I know you hate snobs and elites I get it but look at Ivana and that douche bag Jerod. Think they are on your side? Do you think they've ever done a real days work in their lives. Wake up