Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan


Male Model. Long snapper. My first wife is @jeanniegaffigan. NOBLE APE available to rent/buy NOW. All new material in QUALITY TIME TOUR.

2985784 followers  •  2366 follow  •    •   https://t.co/cp02zQzqdN

My 10 year just explained Scrabble to me like I don’t know how to read.

Katie continues to have a horrible time and yes that is the Big Little Lies bridge. I think.

I can’t believe I have almost 15,000 friends who I can text random hopefully funny thoughts to. I am trying to respond to everyone but it may take some time. I promise not to over do it or sell your #. If u already signed up, how many texts should I do a day? +1 (646) 980-6600

Make sure that pull up is on properly.

I can’t wait to read the new @hodgman  book #MadallionStatus  . John never disappoints! Go buy it.

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I once was on a treadmill at the YMCA next @aliwong3000 . It so exciting to see her literally conquer the wor #DearGirlsd . will be huge. Now I’m hiding it from my daughters until they turn 30.

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I don't want to brag but I was just notified that I'm going to be on the cover of BALD FAT GUY magazine.

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I can’t believe every woman I know is marching in the streets and CNN is showing Trump pretending to believe in God. #WomensMarch 

Maybe we should try 4 years without a president? #debatenight 

Wow, congress isn’t taking the end of “Breaking Bad” very well at all.

I feel like I'm watching America's funeral. #debate 

As long as McDonald's doesn't make us pay with excercise.

I didn’t know I could be so sad, angry, stunned and grateful at the same time. RIP Robin Williams. If you are in pain please seek help.

I can't believe this show was picked up for four seasons.

I miss the days when coffee worked.

I figure that “Honey Boo-Boo” show puts us about six months away from just laughing at homeless people on television.

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