The Duke of Umbrage

The Duke of Umbrage


Dilettantentrepreneur|Proactive procrastinator|Pleb Developer|Serial Aphorista|Recovering Blogger|Quantum Schwantum|TrophyHusband™??

12184 followers  •  9601 follow  •    •  

Cher @RevRichardColes  We were in fear of our life. Your churchyard Hercules Lapin is one cool mofo. 😱

Dear @AlokSharma_RDG  you are a not a One Nation Tory you are a slow motion car crash. #BBCR4today 

Have just tried to connect my iPhone charging cable to my reading glasses.

Moi: Dahling we need to get some of that stuff for stripping stuff off stuff, what’s it called? Something like Rigmarole. Duchess: *baffled face* 🤷🏻‍♀️ Moi: Nitromors. That’s it. Duchess: 🤯

Man with large tool features prominently...😱

British weather predictably refuses to cooperate with the return of Test cricket #ENGvWI 

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@RevRichardColes  A poorly fitting shoe on a Northamptonshire vicar is virtually a hate crime. Surely Church’s or Grenson’s should step in to ensure you are properly shod in future? #BestFootForward 

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When your Sunday roast chicken is not happy with your carving technique...

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Sort of a male version of camel toe going on here? 🐪🦶🏻

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I don't know why we are bothering to prevent #DonaldTrump  coming to UK. If he thinks Paris is in Germany he'll get lost on the way anyway.

Police are concerned for the safety of this vulnerable man, Gavin Esler, 66, failed politician of no fixed abode. He was last seen wandering aimlessly around Islington, sobbing, shortly after midnight. If you see him, please inform @GuyVerhofstadt 

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My dear chap, you seem confused, let me explain. A ‘managed no deal’ is a situation where we can’t reach a deal with you, because you’re impossible, but we decide to work through it and around it, without giving you our cash. Is that easier to understand? Bless.

The old £1 coin not legal tender now but Poppy Sellers accept them. £450M in circulation. Imagine the benefit for our veterans? Please RT??

We wish you a merry gifmas We wish you a merry gifmas We wish you a merry gifmas And a pngy New Year!

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May I suggest people receiving knighthoods on the #Cameron  #honourslist  are known by the title $ir rather than Sir to reflect the cronyism?

Dear USA Would you like to borrow our Queen for the next 4 years? Kind regards ?? #Debate 

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