Dane Cook

Dane Cook

When I tweet, I tweet to kill. https://t.co/xSKhBYY2Ox

2981658 followers  •  804 follow  •    •  

Sitting outside. Working on my book. Realizing how lucky we all are for a moment of this weird planet.

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I love this little vampire. @DaneCook  I can’t tell where the blankets ends and you begin. Thx to the bestest gf evaaaa @ktaysings  for snapping this pic. @ Los Angeles, California

People that "sincerely apologize" right after an incident always forget that the "I'm so sorry" doesn't reset your life in an instant. There's also the steps of the person or people receiving it, processing it & confirming they forgive you.

A meaningful apology comes from unpacking what you've done and explaining how your own actions impacted yourself as well as who you have harmed. That takes time.. in that time you both may lose much but you will gain more with that growth. If you make a mistake you should own it.

Then you should take the time to truly know why you reacted the way you did before you come back with a from the head & heart apology.. coupled with asking for forgiveness. That is a well rounded.. totally meaningful apology. Everything else is a sound bite.

No matter how passionate you are or how commanding a presence you emit, there’s always a person somewhere that doesn’t think you’re shit.

Do to #LaunchAmerica  being scrapped today I will be doing a @NASA  takeover on their social media pages where LIVE I will be throwing a frisbee as far as humanly possible... this will take place LIVWE at 8 EST... weather permitting.

Working with my friends @SeanPenn  @jphro  & the entire team has been uplifting. Stay tuned for some excellent news in the days to come. In the meantime please donate or come on board. #CORE 

Dreams can come true, yes... even in quarantine.


Abercrombie is so dark & loud I don't know if they're selling clothing or the girls from Taken.

I don't give up on people I care about. If I'm in your life it's because I want to see you thrive & fly. #simpletruth 

So @shots  said: "That's a cool shot @danecook " ” - Thx babycakes.

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Some people brighten up a room by leaving it.

I mean what the fuck else is gonna happen in 2020?

Apple is removing the gun emoji. What about my second amendment right to bear emoji arms?

There should be a law saying if you can unequivocally prove you've given someone all your love & they crush your heart you can murder them.

If someone takes more then 4 hours to respond to you texting "u wanna hang out" they better be dead, dying or almost dead or almost dying.

I'm about to sleep the shit outta this bed.