Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien

The voice of the people. Sorry, people.

28602208 followers  •  1 follow  •  Alaska  •

Support #NEXTForAutism  by entering to get drawn into a future episode of @RickandMorty ! You and your friend could meet creators @JustinRoiland  and Dan Harmon, tour the production offices in LA, and win a merch bundle (Pickle Rick included!).

I don’t mean to be a conspiracy theorist but the Nobel Prize for chemistry always seems to go to a scientist.

The only 3-way I was ever a part of was getting the middle seat on a Southwest Airlines flight. Miss you, Ed, Tyrell.

Movie pitch: Millenials buy a house that turns out to be haunted, but they're just grateful they were able to afford something in a good school district.

I want to thank the incomparable Tina Fey for doing my podcast, and for calling me "the Judi Dench of TV."

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If you look up the definition of "definition," you do not get my abs.

If you do a Google image search for “owls with eating disorders” this is the first result:

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“Start again. Still not getting it.” - Time traveling Thomas Jefferson, after I tried to explain Twitter to him.

It's smart of Trudeau to hold the election before Halloween, I mean why even tempt yourself?

I just heard a box of adult diapers whisper “See you real soon.”


I'm ready for the all-female reboot of America.

President Trump didn’t pardon the whole turkey, just the white meat.

Trump is already tweeting that Black Friday is the most ungrateful of all the Fridays.

Look, I’m not perfect but at least my obituary won’t say, “and in 2019, he defunded the Special Olympics.”

Someone is suing Canada Dry Ginger Ale because it contains no ginger, so I’d like to formally announce my lawsuit against Panda Express.

Trump was right about running the government like one of his businesses - the employees don’t get paid.

Trump’s plan to save the environment is to arm the trees with pollution.

New drinking game: drink every time you feel anxious and sad.

Donald Trump’s inauguration is expected to be the most costly in US history. And that’s not even factoring in the money.