Holy shit. I just remembered I was in Twilight.

I guess I’ll never be able to lie to myself again about all the shit I would do if I just had the time.

Oh God. I just realized I'm stuck with me my whole life.

I told BTS that their fans are very passionate and when they saw I’d be sitting with them, they told me to look out for them. So if they need a snack or whatever, I’m on it. ?? #GRAMMYs 

Sweatpants without pockets, you can fuck all the way off.

Ghosting: because I’d rather look like an asshole than let you slowly find out that I suck.

I didn’t text you back because I couldn’t find the right gif.

Dear Yahoo: how do I get to this timeline where I've slept with Enrique Iqlesias please and thank you.

"Locker room banter" implies "C'mon, this is how men talk about women." Like it's to be expected. That's the grossest part of all.

No. No. Fuck this shit. Carrie Fisher is a fucking legend and this is bullshit.