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ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth--
ME: Joe.

Happy birthday to @JoeBiden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have.
I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22.
You know I’m in a K-pop band, right? @bts_twt will be here Monday! #BTSxEllen
I'm 22 years old... I love a girl named Perrie Edwards. And there's a lot of jealous fucks in this world I'm sorry for what it looks like x
I’m literally like this at work today
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I'm pleased to say my baby son was born yesterday :)
I'm heartbroken over what happened in Manchester tonight.
Sending love to everyone involved. H
I️ don’t care what you say, I’m @BTS_twt ‘s biggest fan!
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Of all that I've done in my life, I'm most proud to be Sasha and Malia's dad. To all those lucky enough to be a dad, Happy Father's Day!
The rumor that I’m secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false
Total(1) => 6.2291259765625 f_f_QM(2) => 6.2140369415283 indS(2) => 6.1323640346527 indM(2) => 0.081466913223267 indM_1(2) => 0.0028088092803955 indM_2(2) => 0.0022430419921875 indM_4(2) => 0.0024402141571045 indM_5(2) => 0.0038790702819824 indM_6(2) => 0.0026767253875732 indM_7(2) => 0.0024340152740479 indM_8(2) => 0.0013389587402344 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.0065848827362061 f_f_dT(20) => 0.0062520503997803