1. News
  2. Patton Oswalt
4,448,176 followers   •   3,224 following   •   Los Angeles   •   http://www.pattonoswalt.c
Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.

Latest Scoops

So, that @BuzzFeed article is accurate then? #ImpeachTrump
Official SEASON 2 TRAILER for @HappySYFY is here! I'm so sorry! I didn't read any of these scripts before I signed the contracts! https://t.co/vRqv0gbqDk
The scene in episode 3 of @Lodge49 where @sonya_cassidy has a dream where she’s AT WORK — nothing fantastical or weird, just AT HER SHITTY job — was one of the scariest moments on TV last year. Re-watching season 1 now and I’m shook all over again.
Whew! Twitter account fixed. I got hacked earlier today but it’s all fixed now ***I HAVE A FAT BUTT ANB I POO OUT MY BUTT AND BUTT BUTT***
“🎶Come with me, and you’ll see, a world of pure imagination...🎶”
Match the vaudeville comedian to his famous catch phrase.

1. Skeeps Gallagher
2. Bud Brown
3. Doody Eichmann

a. “Get the ointment, Mildred!”
b. “What are ya, on the RAG?”
c. “That’s what we call pancakes in Pittsburgh!”
YOU DO DESERVE IT. DM ANY of us if things get blurry.
u guys lay off kristy Swanson my father JETPLANE was on fire in a field because of draft dodgers he lost 5 legs we need a SHIELD, robots, fighting pants, helicopter people & lots more i want it ALL we don’t need your smarm-mouth about eagle flags toast burning hhhhhrrnm
One of the joys of watching @TheGoldbergsABC is seeing, at the end, which scene from the show came, verbatim, from @adamfgoldberg’s childhood videos. But the one from last night’s so (“The Wedding Singer”) just melted my mind. Good. God. Did not see that coming.
#tbt to...1992? Me & , tw@marcmarono bright-eyed dreamers about to tell jokes at a Cask ‘n’ Cleaver in Lodi, probably.
Total(1) => 0.10079503059387 f_f_QM(2) => 0.084831953048706 indS(2) => 0.048642158508301 indM(2) => 0.034087896347046 indM_1(2) => 0.0025899410247803 indM_2(2) => 0.0010051727294922 indM_4(2) => 0.0029900074005127 indM_5(2) => 0.0035848617553711 indM_6(2) => 0.002032995223999 indM_7(2) => 0.0031707286834717 indM_8(2) => 0.0015249252319336 indM_9(2) => 0.0089380741119385 indM_10(2) => 0.0078907012939453 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.0021002292633057 f_f_dT(20) => 0.0019576549530029