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Executive Producer -- @theEllenShow -- Views expressed here do not reflect those of America's sweetheart Ellen DeGeneres. ALSO the @LAKings make me happy.

Latest Scoops

andy lassner
andylassner
holy shit sanjosesharks
Holy shit!
@SanJoseSharks
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andy lassner
andylassner
omg my son fell asleep watching this overtime with me im throwing out all his hockey gear
Omg. My son fell asleep watching this overtime with me.
I’m throwing out all his hockey gear.
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andy lassner
andylassner
this hockey game
This hockey game 🔥
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andy lassner
andylassner
nothing more ridiculous than americans gloating about all the canadian hockey teams being eliminated from the
Nothing more ridiculous than Americans gloating about all the Canadian hockey teams being eliminated from the playoffs.
Without Canadian players, all our teams are shit.
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andy lassner
andylassner
jennifer garner reveals her people beautiful issue cover on ellen degeneres show
Jennifer Garner Reveals Her PEOPLE Beautiful Issue Cover on Ellen DeGeneres Show https://t.co/hGwSP04Krt
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andy lassner
andylassner
im a vegetarian also go fuck yourself
I’m a vegetarian.
Also - go fuck yourself.
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andy lassner
andylassner
i am reading all the replies and i totally understand and agree with many of your points about other types of
I am reading all the replies and I totally understand and agree with many of your points about other types of prisoners. I guess what I’m saying is candidates need to be very clear about exactly the type of criminals and incarcerated folks we are talking about. It’s imperative.
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andy lassner
andylassner
ugh why are you mad at me now
Ugh. Why are you mad at me now?
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andy lassner
andylassner
buttigieg on whether felons should be able to vote from prison i don t think so
Buttigieg on whether felons should be able to vote from prison: 'I don't think so' https://t.co/p3toq7Ekdi
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andy lassner
andylassner
any candidate who isnt 100 sure that someone like the boston bomber should not have the right to vote gets a b
Any candidate who isn’t 100% sure that someone like the Boston bomber should not have the right to vote, gets a big no from me.
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The Most Relevant

andy lassner
andylassner
not totally sure how rap battles work but i believe eminem is now the president of the united states of americ
Not totally sure how rap battles work, but I believe Eminem is now the President of the United States of America.
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andy lassner
andylassner
do not use this photo of donald trump he does not like it he told reporters he hates it please retweet
Do NOT use this photo of Donald Trump.
He does NOT like it.
He told reporters he HATES it.

Please RETWEET.
andy lassner
andylassner
he promised them mexico would pay for it they cheer now he tells them we must pay for it they cheer because th
He promised them Mexico would pay for it.

They cheer.

Now he tells them we must pay for it.

They cheer.

Because that’s how cults work.
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andy lassner
andylassner
please do not use the hashtag in reference to he does not like it thank you
Please DO NOT use the hashtag #YachtCocaineProstitutes in reference to @DevinNunes.

He does not like it.

Thank you.

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andy lassner
andylassner
sure i m old enough to be your dad but i listen to baby on loop in my car and pretend we re friends tbt
"Sure I'm old enough to be your dad but I listen to 'Baby' on loop in my car and pretend we're friends"

#TBT
andy lassner
andylassner
retweet only if you know someone who was sexually assaulted but didn t come forward for fear of being shamed a
Retweet only if you know someone who was sexually assaulted but didn't come forward for fear of being shamed and blamed.
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andy lassner
andylassner
the entire world laughed the entire world heard the laughter edited out the laughter is no different than the
The entire world laughed.

The entire world heard the laughter.

edited out the laughter.

is no different than the Russian and North Korean news outlets.
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andy lassner
andylassner
dear media president trump lies he doesnt reverse his position tell untruths exaggerate distort speak in hyper
Dear media,

President Trump lies.

He doesn’t “reverse his position”, “tell untruths”, “exaggerate”, “distort”, “speak in hyperboles” or “state inaccurately”.

He fucking lies.
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andy lassner
andylassner
maybe electing a career criminal to be president was a bad idea
Maybe electing a career criminal to be president was a bad idea.
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andy lassner
andylassner
we did it the cow that is suing officially has more twitter followers than he does devin nunes epic self own i
WE DID IT!!

The cow that @DevinNunes is suing officially has more twitter followers than he does!!

Devin Nunes’ epic self own is now complete.

Congratulations @altgenkelly!

Thank you for reminding us all what a colossally pathetic putz Devin Nunes is#BeButter.

🐄
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Total(1) => 0.21297192573547 f_f_QM(2) => 0.18156695365906 indS(2) => 0.065584182739258 indM(2) => 0.05489706993103 indM_1(2) => 0.0027759075164795 indM_2(2) => 0.0011270046234131 indM_4(2) => 0.0028519630432129 indM_5(2) => 0.0028960704803467 indM_6(2) => 0.0017859935760498 indM_7(2) => 0.0049290657043457 indM_8(2) => 0.001349925994873 indM_9(2) => 0.018962144851685 indM_10(2) => 0.017895936965942 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.029496192932129 f_f_dT(20) => 0.029073476791382