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36,487 followers   •   842 following   •     •   http://stephaniemcmaster.

Writer. Mom. Once washed a cat in a bathroom sink at DFW Airport. smethanie on IG, Snapchat

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Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
so is it free or for a fee
So is it free or for a fee?
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
goodbye luke and thank you for all the daydreams conjured while staring at pages torn from tiger and teen beat
Goodbye, Luke. And thank you for all the daydreams conjured while staring at pages torn from Tiger and Teen Beat and taped to the walls of my childhood bedroom.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
what the fuck
What. The. Fuck.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
dearest today in el paso on the frontlines of our great republics national emergency an alabaster powder fell
Dearest,
Today in El Paso, on the frontlines of our great republic’s national emergency, an alabaster powder fell from the sky, presumably narcotics flung across the border, unobstructed by the lack of wall. It is cold and we are fearful, but for you, I persevere.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
ahhhhh my heart toddlers are the best people here he is requesting speed demon hes on a full mj kick but yeah
@OhNoSheTwitnt Ahhhhh my heart! Toddlers are the best people. Here he is requesting Speed Demon (he’s on a full MJ kick), but yeah, it doesn’t quite come out ... right https://t.co/O
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Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
blessing the timeline with my 2 year old dancing to his favorite song smooth criminal
Blessing the timeline with my 2-year-old dancing to his favorite song: Smooth Criminal
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Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
my love today day 3 of our great american emergency i met a child peddling sweets on a street corner voice hus
My love,
Today, day 3 of our Great American Emergency, I met a child peddling sweets on a street corner. Voice hushed, she told me things are so dire, her supply of Thin Mints has been depleted.
We were able to procure Tagalongs and will persist, but we are fearful.
Send prayers
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
dearest as we trudge through the second day of our national emergency our bellies full of huevos rancheros yes
Dearest,
As we trudge through the second day of our national emergency — our bellies full of huevos rancheros, yes, but morale at an all-time low — I’m afraid I have grim news to report from El Paso’s borderland. A Patriot in my sector has been infiltrated.
Send nuts.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
my darling i write from the borderland of el paso where i find myself on the front lines of our great national
My darling,
I write from the borderland of El Paso, where I find myself on the front lines of our great national emergency. Yesterday, a comrade bunkered nearby reported that canine feces had been abandoned on his property. I don’t know how much more I can endure. Pray for me.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
i live in a border town and am in a near constant state of dread im terrified my kids will be murdered in thei
I live in a border town and am in a near-constant state of dread. I’m terrified my kids will be murdered in their classrooms by a gunman. I have zero fear, however, of immigrants, asylum seekers or MS-13. We DO have a national emergency, but it has NOTHING to do with the border.

The Most Relevant

Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
one of these men called the other a nut job
One of these men called the other a "nut job."
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
adulthood is like the vet and we re all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we
Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
we march for life as long as that life isn t syrian or black and unarmed or a woman whose pregnancy would kill
We march for life. As long as that life isn't Syrian. Or black and unarmed. Or a woman whose pregnancy would kill her if brought to term.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
the gofundme to rebuild the mosque here in texas that was burned down after trump signed the ban on friday
The GoFundMe to rebuild the mosque here in Texas that was burned down after Trump signed the ban on Friday: https://t.co/kLRvtmEWyQ
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
girls complain about guys using them for sex but sex is awesome start bitching when he uses you for laundry or
Girls complain about guys using them for sex, but sex is awesome! Start bitching when he uses you for laundry, or as a human shield.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
love how nancy jim halperts the camera when he called for an end to ridiculous partisan investigations sotu
Love how Nancy Jim Halperts the camera when he called for an end to “ridiculous partisan investigations.” #SOTU
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Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
i wish there were a scared straight for cats and my cat could go to a shelter and hear how good she has it fro
I wish there were a Scared Straight for cats and my cat could go to a shelter and hear how good she has it from cats who've seen some shit.
Stephanie McMaster
Smethanie
everyone who was enraged at kathy griffins misguided stunt because of its impact on barron is horrified that t
Everyone who was enraged at Kathy Griffin’s misguided stunt because of its impact on Barron is horrified that Trump cheated with a porn star just four months after Barron’s birth, right?
Total(1) => 0.075085163116455 f_f_QM(2) => 0.055288791656494 indS(2) => 0.019649982452393 indM(2) => 0.03387188911438 indM_1(2) => 0.0025341510772705 indM_2(2) => 0.0010242462158203 indM_4(2) => 0.0030181407928467 indM_5(2) => 0.0028910636901855 indM_6(2) => 0.0014698505401611 indM_7(2) => 0.0040459632873535 indM_8(2) => 0.0013408660888672 indM_9(2) => 0.0092709064483643 indM_10(2) => 0.0080289840698242 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.017734050750732 f_f_dT(20) => 0.017328977584839