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World News Editor/Reporter, @BuzzFeedNews. Formerly @thinkprogress. RTs = multiple Russias Today. Thoughts mine. Tips: hayes.brown AT buzzfeed dot com

Latest Scoops

Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
after seeing us i am now prepared to murder any and every doppelganger of myself i see on the street without q
After seeing "Us" I am now prepared to murder any and every doppelgänger of myself I see on the street without question before they get me
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
yesterday oh wow my bracket looks great i must be some kind of a savant this year today
yesterday: oh wow my bracket looks great I must be some kind of a savant this year

today:
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Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
this would have been helpful for the wh press secretary to clear up
This would have been helpful for the WH Press Secretary to clear up
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
reporter frantically typing isthe mueller reporta slam dunkor just more march madness okay done editor editor
REPORTER: [frantically typing] "Is....the Mueller report....a slam dunk.......or just more March Madness" okay done

EDITOR:

EDITOR: you're fired.
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
and with a hearty sigh hundreds of editors delete their trump fires mueller pre writes
And with a hearty sigh hundreds of editors delete their "Trump Fires Mueller" pre-writes
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
mueller probe over supernatural ending after 15 seasons brexit as eternal as the stars
Mueller probe: over

"Supernatural": ending after 15 seasons

Brexit: as eternal as the stars
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
what if the mueller report is just like seven pages long
what if the mueller report is just like seven pages long.
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
runs through the door you guys the mueller re oh nm i see you heard nvm
[runs through the door]

YOU GUYS, THE MUELLER RE-

oh. nm. i see you heard nvm.
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
mood
Mood:
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Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
report report reported says reporter
REPORT: REPORT REPORTED, SAYS REPORTER

The Most Relevant

Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
hail hydra
"Hail Hydra"
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
guy who invented daylight savings time and then in the fall you get an extra hour to sleep us wow yeah that so
guy who invented daylight savings time: and then in the fall you get an extra hour to sleep!

us: wow yeah that sounds great

him: [under his breath] and in exchange you get months of darknesss and sadness

us: wait what?

him: what?
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
angel ok we ve got death childbirth and strife any other punishments for the humans god i call it the empty ca
ANGEL: ok we've got death, childbirth, and strife, any other punishments for the humans

GOD: i call it the "empty carbohydrate." they eat it and it will do nothing to fuel their body

ANGEL: and it will taste terrible?

GOD: it will be the center of their fucking world
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
honestly this story has everything rich people in trouble proof you were right about those rich kids at your c
Honestly this story has everything:

- rich people in trouble
- proof you were right about Those Rich Kids at your college
- prosecution under the RICO Act
- a Balkan water polo coach
- a chance to yell about systemic inequality
- FULL HOUSE JOKES

WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR.
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
god designing marsupials ok ok are u ready for this one god holds up kangaroo look at it angel stop i can t go
GOD: [designing marsupials] ok ok. are u ready for this one?

GOD: [holds up kangaroo] LOOK AT IT.

ANGEL: stop. i can't.

GOD: And...

ANGEL: ???

GOD: IT'S GOT POCKETS

ANGEL: STOP. WHAT.
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
warner bros your franchise is in shambles make superman black destroy the internet do it you have nothing to l
Warner Bros.

Your franchise is in shambles.

Make Superman black.

Destroy the internet.

Do it.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Do it.
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
overlooked in all of this kellyanne conway seems to think inspector gadget was an inspector of gadgets not a g
Overlooked in all of this: KellyAnne Conway seems to think Inspector Gadget was an inspector of gadgets, not a gadget-filled inspector
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
omfg bolivia who called today s syria meeting at the un holds up colin powell s 2003 picture saying to remembe
Omfg. Bolivia, who called today's Syria meeting at the UN, holds up Colin Powell's 2003 picture, saying to remember that ISIS was the result
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
this photo of trump and the first vader scene in rogue one is beyond iconic jim watson afp getty images
This photo of Trump and the first Vader scene in "Rogue One" is beyond iconic (📷:: Jim Watson / AFP / Getty Images)
Hayes Boo-rown
HayesBrown
trump tweets about the nfl everyone ugh pls focus on real issues trump tweets about north korea everyone wait
Trump: [tweets about the NFL]

everyone: ugh pls focus on real issues

Trump: [tweets about North Korea]

everyone: wait shit no stop
Total(1) => 0.18011593818665 f_f_QM(2) => 0.16001892089844 indS(2) => 0.12798309326172 indM(2) => 0.030431985855103 indM_1(2) => 0.0027320384979248 indM_2(2) => 0.0007927417755127 indM_4(2) => 0.0027279853820801 indM_5(2) => 0.0021531581878662 indM_6(2) => 0.0011918544769287 indM_7(2) => 0.0030078887939453 indM_8(2) => 0.0010747909545898 indM_9(2) => 0.008638858795166 indM_10(2) => 0.0078480243682861 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.018407106399536 f_f_dT(20) => 0.017946243286133