have you ever been jealous of ground beef?
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almost time for spring cleaning which means almost time to conveniently spend all your time at denny’s, cleaning your plate & ignoring texts
a denny’s haiku

like sultry hot fudge,
your love melts my ice cream heart.
my one wish; spoon me.
whoever decided to put a bunch of food in a steaming hot skillet was a genius. skillets 4ever.
let the sweet heat of our skillets warm those winter bones of yours.
maybe, just maybe, if it had wanted to come out golden brown, it would have. 7/7
maybe it doesn’t want you to scrape off the charred outer crumbs of disappointment with the old butter knife of regret. 6/7
maybe it doesn’t want you to fix it. 5/7
that would be enough to darken anyones spirit. maybe when the toast pops up burnt and crispy, it’s just really, really…sad. 4/7
bread surely has dark days like we do—getting sliced, discarded, staled, ignored by the anti-gluten sect. 3/7
like, maybe when it’s lowered into the heated slots it uses that time to reflect, looking back on all the steps that led it there. 2/7
do you ever wonder if bread itself has the option to emerge from the toaster either golden & perfect or burnt and crusty? 1/7
how will you spend friday night?
have you ever laughed so hard that milk came out of your nose but you weren’t even drinking milk?
saying “open sesame” near a burger is rude. the sesame seeds are all like “open it yourself we’re stuck to this bun, man. also don’t eat us”
heart-shaped box full of:
where does fiction end and reality begin now? guess we’ll find out if luna lovegood does or doesn’t come in for her free grand slam today
the first dude to use a plate probably walked so smugly by all the other cavemen standing with fists full of wooly mammoth.
Partnering w/ @tomjoynerfound to create scholarships for #FirstGen college students. #NAACPImageAwards https://t.co/FoD1HvT5KW
Partnering w/ @tomjoynerfound to create scholarships for #FirstGen college students. #NAACPImageAwards https://t.co/FoD1HvT5KW
fun fact: at least one booth in every denny’s is possessed by spirits. it’s pretty easy to tell though cause it’s usually glowing.
sure, trees can’t eat like us, but if they did? boy would salad freak them out.
Total(1) => 0.34649014472961 f_u_GN(1) => 0.00051212310791016 f_f_dT(31) => 0.0078392028808594 f_f_QM(2) => 0.27839183807373 f_f_pTL(2) => 0.0081639289855957 f_u_GLN(1) => 0.15449619293213 indS(1) => 0.003870964050293 indM(1) => 0.0078299045562744 indM_1(1) => 0.0015900135040283 indM_2(1) => 0.00036406517028809 indM_4(1) => 0.0014641284942627 indM_5(1) => 0.0019330978393555 indM_6(1) => 0.00094914436340332 indM_7(1) => 0.00047421455383301 indM_8(1) => 0.00043010711669922